Grabbing Hold (The Motorcycle Kid #1)

28. Second Tries

Derek put his phone down on the island's counter with a grimace. His fiancée watched him warily, worry crossing her features. She sighed.

"Here," said Audrey, sliding him a plate of breakfast she'd just finished making. She joined him a moment later, sticking a fork into her pancakes.

"What did Emma say?"

"What do you think?" asked Derek in sarcastic reply. "She basically told me she's not talking to me until I tell Charlotte we're getting married."

"That's...childish," said Audrey cautiously. "But to be fair, Derek, she has a point. I mean, we're getting married in just a few weeks. Don't you think it's time you told her what's going on?"

"You're the one who doesn't want me to talk about Charlotte. Why are you bringing her up?"

Audrey smiled at him. "Because you're right," she said, caressing his tired face. "I have nothing to worry about. When it's all over, none of this stuff will matter. You chose me."

She kissed his cheek, whispering in his ear.

"I won."

Derek stilled. After a few seconds, he turned to look his fiancée dead in the eyes.

"What did you say?"

"I said," Audrey chuckled, "I won."

"Audrey-" Derek shook his head, exasperated.

"This is not a competition. I'm not some kind of prize you and Charlotte have to fight over."

"I never said you were."

"Then why would you say you 'won'?" Derek demanded. "Audrey, I'm a person." He shook his head again. "I can't believe you just said that."

"Why are you so upset?"

"Because-" he cut himself off. "Because I had a good life with Charlotte, okay? I had a good life and three great kids and my life was perfect-"

"Then why did you leave?" Audrey demanded. "If your life was so damn perfect, why did you leave?"

"Because I screwed it up!" Derek pulled at his hair. "I had everything, Audrey. I had everything."

"And we can have everything, Derek, together. We could make our own life, start fresh, and have everything you ever wanted. We could be happy, Derek."

"I am happy."

"You don't look happy. If you are, then why isn't that enough? Why are we constantly just stuck in this place between fighting and making up?"

Audrey's voice was breaking with emotion.

"Maybe I- maybe the whole proposal thing was too soon," admitted Derek. "Maybe I should've waited."

He didn't want to look at Audrey.

He didn't want to watch himself break her heart.

Despite everything, there had been a time when Derek and Audrey had been happy. She had been good to him over the last two years; a fresh, spunky personality, a shoulder to lean on, an excellent lover. He had loved her, and she him.

Maybe he had jumped the gun.

"Derek," said Audrey quietly. "What are you saying?"

He took a breath, meeting her eyes.

"I'm saying I don't think we're ready to do this," he replied. "Our wedding's less than a month away, and we've been so focused on getting everything ready for a ceremony and a reception, we've lost sight of what's really important."