Poetry By A Confused, Awkward, and Slightly-Emotionally-Unstable Being

I Don't Know... (LGBT)

Here's another poem by me. I don't know how great it is but I was feeling horrible so I decided to write about it. I don't know, maybe some of you can relate. Hope you like it. (If you find any mistakes or think I should change something comment and I'll fix it)

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I Don't Know

By: AlecLGBT

I am a boy.

Or at least I think I am.

I don't know.

Confusion racks my heart and brain every day of the week

Every hour in the day

Every minute I'm not distracting myself.

I want to wear guys clothes

And cologne

And cut my hair

But I'm not allowed to.

Because somehow,

The way I dress

And the way I smell

Affects my family, my parents

They give me excuses, sorry reasons.

They say guys clothes are for guys and girls for girls

But they are just pieces of fabric that we put on our bodies to make ourselves feel better.

Don't they want me to feel better?

The confusion hurts.

It makes me want to scream

It makes me want to cry.

I just want to be able to express myself for who I am

But I don't know who I am because I'm not allowed to.

Because to them, my parents,

Being normal and sticking to the way things are

The way things have always been

Is better than their child figuring theirself out.

Because now I am just a ball of confused emotions

Anger and sadness and hopelessness.

But I don't want to disappoint them.

I don't want to take their "daughter" away from them.

So I sit in silence, and I keep my thoughts to myself.

I ask if I can cut my hair.

They say no. I stop asking.

I ask if I can wear guys clothes.

They say no. I stop trying.

I sneak cologne to school so that they don't smell it on me.

They find out. They say no.

So what am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to say?

I don't know.

Because I am confused, and scared, and I feel all alone.

Even though I am not.

I have family and friends and teachers.

But would they really understand?

I don't know.

So I never ask.

I stay quite, and I let myself feel confused for the sake of others comfortability.

Because my emotions and confusion and how I feel on the inside

Don't matter

Not to them at least.

Who am I?

What am I?

I don't know...