I Can't Make You Love Me

Chapter III - Deceiving

Wait.. 

What?

Tama ba ang dinig ko? 

I just saw him a while ago.

Kanina?

May kasamang chicks

B-babae?

pero di ko nakita yung mukha.

Who the hell are you?!

The only sentence having the words Eros and a girl has 'is with me and never with another' in the middle. 

"Wait. Kuya are you sure it was Eros?" I was hoping that my kuya is wrong. 

"Bunso. Uhm. As far as I can remember, alam ko naman ang itsura ni Eros. Kilala ko naman kung siya yun o hindi." Cool na cool pang sabi ng kapatid ko. 

"No. I mean, malay mo, namamalik-mata ka lang, right?" I sounded desperate.

"Alam kong siya naman yun bunso. Why? Something wrong?" Then he looked at me. Seriousness written all over his face.

"No kuya. Wala naman." Then I smiled, knowing it's fake.

Suddenly, he hit the brake.

Napasigaw na lang ako sa gulat. I looked at my kuya. He is really serious.

"Bakit bunso? Niloloko ka ba ni Eros?" 

I blinked a few times before answering.

"No Kuya! He's not! Uhh. Ka block mate niya lang yun. Right. I-it was just his blockmate." Then I tried my best to smile. He just sighed and continued driving. No one dares to talk. 

Kinakabahan ako. I'm not quite sure kung kay kuya or para kay Eros. Eros can't possibly cheat on me. Right? I mean. Wala pa namang proof? And baka blockmate niya lang talaga yun? Diba? I shouldn't doubt at him. I need to talk to him as much as possible. 

And kay kuya? Yes, he is all cool and happy-go-lucky, but when he's serious, natatahimik na talaga ako. I still respect my kuya kahit parang hindi naman siya ka respe-respeto. After all. Kuya ko pa din siya. 

We reached home without uttering a single word. Bumaba na kami at nauunang maglakad si kuya sakin. Kumapit ako sa braso niya at pinatong ang ulo ko sa balikat niya. 

"Kuya, are you okay?" 

"Yes bunso." He said, pero hindi siya nakatingin sa akin.

"Your action contradicts what you say. You mad bro?" Napangiti naman siya sa sinabi ko.

"I'm not mad. Not at you." He sighs. "It's just that, the thought of Eros hurting you, makes me want to kill him." 

I am really touched of what he is saying. Except the part where he wants to kill Eros, of course. But I can really feel that he is really concerned for me. Minsan lang mag seryoso ang kuya ko, so I really need to appreciate it. Mag papamisa pa ko. 

"Chill ka lang kuya. He is not cheating nor will hurt me. We both trust him right?" I smiled at him. He just nods. 

I kissed him in the cheek before going up stairs. "Don't worry, kuya. If he breaks my heart, I'll break his treasure."

~

Pumasok ako ng lutang ang isip. I'm just glad that I arrived alive. 

Di pa din kasi ako mapakali. I've been texting Eros. Calling him even, but his phone's cannot be reached. Nag-aalala ako na baka may nangyari na sa kanya. Ugh! 

Since wala pa naman akong class, I've decided na puntahan siya sa room nila. But he's not yet there. Naghintay pa ako while calling him. Dammit Eros! Pick up the phone. My inner bitch rants. 

Half an hour had passed, still he is not here. Nag desisyon akong bumalik na sa building ko. 

I was busy texting ng may makabangga ako. 

"Ouch!" Sabi ko. Naman. Napa upo pa ko. 

"Caths?" I looked up only to find Eros staring at me. Eyes wide open. 

"Hindi mo man lang ba ako tutulungan? Tititigan mo lang ako?" I said irritately. I'm happy na nakita ko na siya, pero bigla na lang akong nainis, besides the fact na hindi man lang niya ako tinutulungan, it's like, he doesn't want to see me. 

Agad-agad naman niya kong tinulungan at pinagpagan. 

"Explain." I said with authority. 

"Explain what?" He questionably said.

"What happened to you last night? I've been calling you, texting you. Pero ni ha ni ho, wala akong narinig." I frustratingly said. 

"Wait! Bakit ka ba nagagalit?" Okay? Ngayon, siya pa galit?

"Goddamit, Eros! Hindi ako nagagalit! Nag-aalala lang ako! I have all rights to be worried."

Mukhang natahimik naman siya sa sinabi ko. Magsasalita na sana siya when I cut him off. 

"Know what? Walang patutunguhan 'tong usapan na 'to. I need to go. May klase pa ko. Just call me when you're done being an idiot." and with that, I walked away. Ang sakit lang kasi hindi man lang niya ko pinigilan. 

~

Pumasok ako sa klase ng wala sa sarili. Ugh! Damn you Eros! Nakakainis ka! Masama bang tanungin siya kung anong nagyari? Masama na bang mag-alala sa boyfriend? If yes, well then, I was not informed. 

Nyx had to go home early for an emergency, and the two, Dem and Hes, still has their class. It's past lunch time, pero wala pa din akong gana kumain. Me and Eros, bihirang bihira lang kaming mag away. Kaya hindi ako sanay ng ganito. 

Naglakad lakad na lang muna ako. I really want to talk to Eros but I don't know how. Ayokong magsigawan kami. Ayokong nag-aaway kami. I sighed. Minsan, ang labo talaga ni Eros. A minute, he is totally sweet, caring, and loving. And a minute, it's like I hardly don't know him at all. 

I sat on a bench at tumingin sa kawalan. I closed my eyes, trying to absorb everything. Eros has been acting really weird. It's like he is hiding something from me. Minsan gusto ko siyang tanungin, but he diverts the subject. Ugh. Eros, ano bang gagawin ko sayo? You make me crazy! 

"Caths?" Napabukas agad ako ng mata, and there I saw Selene. 

"Selene. What are you doing here?" She then sits beside me.

"Napadaan lang. Ikaw? Ayos ka lang ba? It seems that your mind is pre occupied? Share?" Nag dadalawang isip ako if dapat ko bang sabihin sa kanya ang problema ko. It's not that I don't trust her and all, It's just that, I don't feel sharing problems. It's like I'm also dragging them into it. I don't want to be a burden. 

"Caths?" Her voice is very sincere. I let out a sigh before I start my speech, "Uhm. Well. Let's just say, that me and Eros had a little misunderstanding. But we'll work it through." I half smiled. 

She looked at me with pity in her eyes. But I'm not quite sure what emotion her eyes are trying to say. There's sadness. Hesitancy. "Caths. Every relationship naman goes through problems right? I know kaya mo yan. You're more than strong. It only takes one to lower its pride, then boom. The rest was history." We both giggled to what she said. I can't really figure out why the girls hate her. She's a spoonful of sugar, if you ask me. 

Nag kwentuhan pa kami ni Selene. About childhood memories, first crush. And I felt light as we talk. Hindi ko na nga rin napansin ang oras. 

We decided to go home. We parted ways with smiles on our faces. 

I was about to open my car door when someone held my hand. 

"Caths. Please. Talk to me."

I sighed deep. "Eros."