I Can't Make You Love Me

Chapter X - 4th Degree

Aphrodite's POV

"Nyx." Then I sighed. "Bakit mo naman ginawa yun?" I asked her. Well, I'm not mad at her, though, what she did was totally absurd. I honestly don't want the girls to have a part on this. It's my problem, not theirs. I don't want to be a burden. This crap is between the three of us.  Though, it seems like I am the only one who still cares and is still hurting. 

"Caths. Look. I only did that for two reasons." She paused. As if organizing the words she's about to say. "First, is that, that bitch deserves it. And I've always wanted to do that." She smiled mischievously. "Second, is that, you are my friend, okay? The three of us owes you a lot. And have you forgotten that you are our responsibility?" Her eyes were shaking. "Though, I was really satisfied to what I just did, and I don't, oh scratch it, I would never regret that happening, still, I want to say sorry."

She then hugged me from the side, "I know you are having a really rough time, but don't let this crap eat you. They're not worth it. Trust me." Then her lips formed a very sincere smile. I managed to smile back at her, though my inner bitch is pacing back and forth. Thinking about what Nyx had said. 

Are they really not worth it? 

I don't hella know. All I know is I still want to talk to them. Especially Eros. I'm really missing that bastard. I know he still loves me. I believe. I can feel it. 

Time flew fast just like road runner trying to dash against the wild cayote. Selene's presence is nowhere to be seen, and I'm thankful for that. Baka kasi hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko at kausapin siya at ako na mismo ang hihingi ng tawad sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa. 

Dem and Hes still has their class and Nyx has gone to the library. Guess it's all about me again. Ugh. This sucks. It's just now that I realized, being with the three of them somehow helps to drift my attention to certain things. Though they can be nosy, I still appreciate their concern.

I was walking around the campus, holding a cup of coffee, alone, wearing a straight face, having a tattered mind, heart and soul in a very gloomy afternoon. What a perfect scenery, isn't? 

I sat down in one of the benches and observed the passers-by. I was sitting peacefully, until I heard voices that made me look at my right side. 

"Hi Hon." Then he kissed her. He then brushed her hair. Like he used to do to me. 

"I missed you." She said while clasping her hands against his neck. "How are you?" She asked and they talked about more smoochy things that I wish I haven't heard. If only I can switch off my sense of hearing. 

I watched them. They looked so happy. Smiles drawn in their faces. Carefree laughs. And twinkles from their eyes. And in that moment, I envy the two of them as I recall the Eros that used to be by my side. 

I stood up, trying to hold my eyes that is about to burst. I know Selene saw me. I saw that smile drawn in her face. I won't give them the satisfaction they want. Ugh. How insensitive. 

I quickly went to my baby, and flew off. 

I want to think. 

~ 

"Does she watch your favorite movies?

Does she hold you when you cry?

Does she let you tell her all your favorite parts?

When you've seen it a million times

Does she sing to all your music

While you dance to "Purple Rain"?