♡ Born To Die ♡ (Larina)

♡ Chapter One ♡

When did I decide for myself I wanted to die?

The tranquil salt waters of the ocean splash over the freshly built sandcastles, leaving one dream behind, but releasing another to thrive. The sand gets pulled away by the waves, the motion natural, yet seductive in a way. The waves simply yearned for her to come forward, to lay for as long as her lungs could hold, peacefully, allowing the water wrap around her like a blanket of security.

What's the point of playing a game you're going to lose?

She allowed the waves to pulsate around her, rocking her slowly. This was it, for her. She was going to allow the waves to consume her whole, before the monster under her skin would. He gripped her wrists, ripping through them in slash marks, trying to find his escape from her body that was his prison sentence. The monster would kill her, or the liquid burning through her veins would, flooding her insides while blood escaped her. Either way, she'd leave peacefully, painfully maybe, but peacefully. No one was around to stop her. She left the clear bottle behind, for it was empty and would no longer have use for her. A chorus of words trailed behind her as she walked into the water, deeper and deeper, the salt stinging her wounds.

I don't want to admit, but we're not going to fit. No, I'm not the type that you like.

The sun was slowly setting, the soft tones of purple cascading into the deep reds and burnt oranges reflecting off the waves, just as she did with her memories of love and hatred, friends and enemies. Her mind was set faster than the sun could find it's way down. The salt stinging her wounded wrists had no feeling any longer, and the water was now finding it's way, crashing into her face, leaving her to cough slightly, but not at all changing her mind. She was certain no one could. Not even the love of her life, who had no idea where she was right now. She didn't want her to, either. She never loved her back, anyway. No one ever really did.

I just want it to be perfect, to believe it's all been worth the fight.

Perfect. What an odd word that held no meaning anymore. Lana would never really love her as deeply as she did, even if she'd like to believe it, if Lana even ever loved her at all. Her vision blurred with each splash, her ears filled with water, distorting, suffocating. Coughs fell from her mouth, surrounded by water mixed with her own blood and depression seeping through her lungs. She wasn't sure if it was the waves or blood loss, but she could swear to hear the cries of a young girl, almost as if it was arriving closer and closer to her limp, almost lifeless body.

Lies.

But, it wasn't her mind fooling her senses. Splashes towards her rippled through the crashing waves, along with the cries of the young woman, who was barely recognizable due to the smearing makeup and blurring vision of Marina. Her light brown hair soaking, her eyes blood shot, from both tears and the ocean water. "Marina... Marina baby... Listen to me... I'm going to save you... Don't worry..." She didn't want to be saved. She wanted to stay afloat forever, or until her soul betrayed her body, leaving it to decay in the waters. "N...o.... Leave... Me... H... Here..." She could barely get the words out, gargling the salt water, slurring her words due to intoxication. She didn't deserve a place back in the real world. No one loved her. She'd much rather be among the sand and waves, where fantasies grew, leaving her shit life behind. "I can't do that baby... I can't do that." Lana began dragging Marina from the waves' embrace by her freshly cut arms, unaware of the blood leaving her body until they were both on land. "I... I... t-told you... Let me g-go back..." Marina began pulling with whatever strength she could tap into, yearning to go back into the waves until her eyes finally shut for good. Lana wouldn't even begin to allow this to happen. Lana pulled Marina back into her arms, keeping her close to her chest. Tears ran down Lana's face as she shook with fear from what she just witnessed. "Honey, I'm taking you to the hospital." Lana began to say as she picked Marina up like she was her bride, except with Marina's eyelids slowly getting heavier and heavier, this wasn't going to be a honeymoon. Lana wouldn't be able to function without Marina by her side. And to think Marina could have been gone if she wasn't quick enough to find her note left strategically on the bed, if she wasn't quick enough to feel something in her gut, telling her Marina was in danger? Running as fast as her feet could support her and Marina, Lana found herself a taxi without much time to spare. Traffic was horrid, but she could tell the taxi driver understood how much Marina meant to her, how much she valued her. She stroked her hair, whispering sweet nothing into Marina's ears, allowing her to lay her head onto her lap. Marina was struggling to keep her eyelids open, and Lana encouraged her to keep fighting. But, to be honest, Marina wasn't sure if she was fighting to begin with. Her plan was soiled. But, maybe, if this traffic kept up, she could die in the arms of her one and only love, Lana. As Marina's thoughts drifted into the darkness, Lana sang the familiar melody of a song.

All my dreams and all the lights mean nothing without you.