The Boy Who Couldn't Hold His Breath Underwater ✔

Don't Push Me Away

After the lunch we had our free hour since there wasn't the practice anymore. I rather enjoyed to have our free hour back, even though I knew we would start practicing again on our final week. But for now I wanted to enjoy it while I could. And the free hour also gave me the opportunity to talk with my friends about Even.

Eskild disappeared somewhere after the lunch so it was just me, Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus when we walked to our cabin and got inside. I sat on my bed and crossed my legs. Magnus and Mahdi sat on the floor in front of me and Jonas sat on my bed next to me. We sat in silence for a moment and I tried to gather my thoughts.

"Okay, then", Jonas said. "What did you need to talk about?"

"Well", I started, wiggling my fingers. "When I went to the stables I kind of overheard Even and Sonja fighting.

"Sonja was yelling at Even and demanding to know why Even broke up with her. Even wouldn't tell her and then she asked who is the other girl and Even kind of flipped and told her that it's not a girl."

"He confessed to Sonja that he broke up with her because of another guy?" Magnus asked.

I nodded. "And then Sonja started yelling at him that he had dated her for four years even though he was gay and Even was like, saying that he ain't gay and that he doesn't need to label himself."

Jonas nodded. "That's true, labels are overrated."

"Anyway", I continued, "then Sonja said something that still bothers me..."

"What?" they all asked.

"She said, and I quote, 'I can't believe you're doing this to me again'."

The lads were silent for a moment and I bit my lip, waiting for one of them to say something.

"Again?" Jonas finally said. "What does that mean?"

"I have no idea", I confessed. "I thought it might mean... might mean that Even has done this before, and by this I mean broke up with Sonja because of someone else."

"Would that be bad?" Mahdi asked.

I shrugged. "If he has cheated Sonja before... What if that's what he does? How do I know he won't do the same thing to me?"

My friends were silent and I sighed, rubbing my face.

"However, I decided I won't make hasty decision before I have had a chance to talk with Even", I said.

"Good call", Jonas said, nodding. "What happened next?"

"Well, Sonja stormed out and I went to see Even. He wouldn't look at me or let me touch him and when I asked him if he's okay, he said 'Not now' and just... pushed me away."

"Wow..."

I agreed with my friends. Wow. That was how I felt too. At least a small part of me. Most parts of me were fucking worried and afraid. Afraid that he would avoid me the next time I try to go close to him. What if he avoids me? What was I supposed to do then? I had no idea what was going on and I was already imagining how everything would go to hell.

Ah, I really needed to start thinking more positively.

"I think", Jonas said, "that you just have to talk with him."

"Ask what's going on", Magnus added.

I nodded my head in agreement. "He avoided looking at me at the lunch."

"Don't overthink it, Isak", Jonas said.

I sighed. Jonas was probably right, as always.

Soon the bell rang and our free time was over. We stood up and walked out of the cabin.