cemetery ☞ n.m

xvi

her watched her in complete awe, as she traced patterns onto his shoulder with her fingertips. trying to remain awake. he watched as she fluttered her eyes to keep them open, and her lips as they rose up as if she were going to do something as little as a smirk, but didn't. he smiled to himself, admiring what he thought was the most beautiful human being on the planet, admiring the moment that they were left in as he pulled her small, naked body closer to his own. he admired.

although it had only been five months. five months since he'd met her. he's opened up to her. he believed that he could trust her, and he did. he believed that he could love her.

and he did. he did love her; she just never let him.

she was completely broken, shattered to pieces. just like he was. torn, and alone. and there was nothing he could do to help her. no matter how hard he tried.

all he could imagine was how hurt someone could be to lose their own personality, and humanity. how damaged they could be, and how damaged they would become. she was more than damaged. he knew. he knew from the moment he first laid eyes on her.

everything about her, her voice, her smile, her eyes. they all just held hurt. hurt, everywhere. and he didn't know how to fix her, mostly because there was no fixing her. she could never be repaired. yet, he still ceases to believe that.

"you keep beating yourself up, anna-marie." he whispers, stroking her hair soothingly. "you keep on telling yourself that you can never be fixed, that you'll never be the same person you were before sa-" he pauses. "before- him." he breathes out, squeezing his eyes shut and kissing her head lightly. "that's true. you won't ever be the same person you were. and that's okay, anna-marie. i promise you, it is. but you can't just continue to shut people out, especially the ones that want to help you, and would never hurt you." he purses his lips, feeling her body being pulled closer into his own.

there was a moment of silence, and the only thing he heard was the sound of her breathing. she was still awake, wide awake, at that point.

"when johnson left," he begins. "my friends and i, we-we lost ourselves. and we could never be the same, and every single day after that i lived my life knowing that that was the end. knowing that without johnson, my life was practically over. that i had no purpose without him." he says.

"and then i met you." he chuckles to himself. "and in these last five months in knowing you, you showed me that i do have a purpose." sighing, "anna-marie, please. please just, just l-let me help you."

she sighs, lifting her head up to look at him. tears were welling up in her eyes as she attempted to blink them away, as one slid down the side of her face.

"i just don't want to get hurt again, nate. i've felt it, far too many times." she cries. "i just don't want to get hurt."