Ever Changing

11

       Rehearsals and other schedules take the best out of everyone. Energy and will to live alike. But at the same time, it's part of what the boys of GOT7 love, so even if it's so exhausting, it also fills them with such sense of achievement it makes up for the constant body aches they've learnt to live with.

Jackson loves what he does, he really does, even if at times he feels he has no time to breathe and like the weight on his shoulders is too heavy for him alone. Yet he wouldn't change it for anything. Even if he left so much behind, even if he gave up on one big and important dream of him, he doesn't regret it. Not for a heartbeat. Not even when he's exhausted and can barely move, when he's gone hours without eating and feels like there's something off with his body. Not even then does Jackson regret his choices.

The other members know he is more exhausted as his schedule is the most severe one, so they try to keep it quiet in the van and give him more space to stretch and sleep, and when they arrive, they wake him gently not to startle him.

Well, not they but he.

Mark.

It's Mark telling the others to lower their voices in the van or sneaking snacks in Jackson's hands, like protein bars (always organic) and even smoothies to re-energise the younger rapper. And when they arrive to the new location, Mark waits until everyone gets off before approaching Jackson and carefully, gently shaking him awake.

"Jackson-ah, we're here. Wake up," Mark whispers softly so it feels like a tender caress and not like a scary cream from hell, like BamBam would do.

Jackson's eyelids slowly flutter open, the light coming in from the outside allowing him to see the older idol, although still a bit blurry, smiling at him as kindly as someone can while holding Jackson's favourite smoothie.

"Are we really there already? It felt like two seconds," Jackson mumbles, rubbing his eyes and sitting upright, a yawn escaping his lips as he tries to stretch a bit. Only after he's done doing that he grabs the smoothie. "Thanks," he adds with a smile.

Even if Mark showed his concern before, Jackson was blind to it. He never noticed the kind gestures until they talked things through. Now, Jackson isn't blind anymore. The idol doesn't miss every kind gesture Mark spares, the sweet smiles and how the idol seems to exactly know what Jackson need and craves the most.

"Two seconds is normally what you get of sleep, though," Mark comments and although it could be in a teasing tone, his voice carries deep worry that makes Jackson feel a bit uncomfortable, like he needs to reassure Mark he's fine. "Seriously, Jacks, you need more rest."

"So do we all, but right now we can't afford it," Jackson reminds the older one, feeling a bit more awake. "Still, these little naps help enormously."

Mark looks far from pleased, if anything, he looks more worried and it's evident in the way he helps Jackson to get out of the van, holding the younger's arm and providing Jackson with a solid balance. Lately his body has been almost foreign to him. His exhaustion makes his muscles stiff and heavy and sometimes, especially when he has to stand up, for a pair of heartbeats, the world around him blacks out and it feels like everything is moving and he can't stand. But as fast as it came, the feeling is gone and he feels normal again. The idol is aware that is just his body telling him to move slower because it cannot keep up, but Jackson does not have time to "take it slow."

"You need a break more than us," Mark insists. "You work twice as hard, and you look so tired, Jacks. We're really worried about you. We fear you're just going to faint on us one of these days, or worse, when you're alone filming somewhere else."

Jackson turns to give Mark what he hopes it's a reassuring smile, but honestly, it seems to fail. "I'll be fine, really. And I'm never really alone, so if the worst happen, someone will help me."