Kill Me Softly

A Decision

  Yoonbum sat perfectly still. Once again, Sangwoo had managed to surprise him. He didn't know what to think anymore. One minute Sangwoo seemed like a raging psychopath and the next he just seemed like he wanted to protect Yoonbum, no matter what. Ever since his parents died, Yoonbum had lived in fear of his uncle. He hated him for what he had done, and he knew that Sangwoo had been right: he had been the type of person who wouldn't be satisfied with just one victim. Yoonbum's father had been his uncle's brother and completely oblivious to his dangerous personality. But Yoonbum's mother had known better. She had always been uncomfortable whenever his uncle was in the room. She hardly talked to him and never made eye contact. She knew his secret, but she refused to let him get to her or to Yoonbum. She never left him and Bum alone together and maintained an air of constant vigilance in his presence. But with her gone, Yoonbum had been an easy victim. Despite all this, Yoonbum still couldn't forgive Sangwoo. After all, even if it was justified, what he had done was still murder. It was just like Sangwoo had said; he killed the uncle in a blind rage. He had simply snapped when he saw what was happening. Someone with so little control over their emotions couldn't be trusted. The kind of person who spontaneously commits murder was simply an unstable person with bad morals. It didn't matter the reason why, because it was wrong. Killing was wrong, everyone knew that. But still, Yoonbum couldn't bring himself to think of Sangwoo as a worse person than his uncle had been. Sangwoo had taken a life, but it had saved Yoonbum and gotten rid of another horrible person. Surely that wasn't so bad. Yoonbum had to shake himself. How could he be trying to justify what Sangwoo had done? He was a killer, he wasn't safe! But then... if Sangwoo was truly a dangerous, bad person like Yoonbum had been taught he was, why did Yoonbum feel so safe around him? He had definitely been scared when he first found out the truth about Sangwoo, but he had really been more afraid of the action, not Sangwoo as a person. He had also been scared when he thought Sangwoo was going to hurt him, but that was just Sangwoo's act to make him stay. Everything Yoonbum had been afraid of had been related to the situation, not Sangwoo himself. When he thought about what he remembered and what Sangwoo had told him, the picture of Sangwoo that came into his head was that of a caring, passionate person. So maybe, then?  Again Yoonbum had to snap himself out of a haze. Even if Sangwoo had been a good person, it didn't change the fact that he was unstable. Who knew when he might snap again? It wasn't safe to stay with him, even if he wanted to. This realization made Yoonbum sad, though he didn;t know why. Later, Yoonbum would realize that it was because he really did want to stay. He wanted to know more about the person who saved him. He didn't really care about what Sangwoo had done because he knew if he was in his position he would have done the same thing. Because he didn't want to stay away from Sangwoo at all. It suddenly occurred to Yoonbum that he had been sitting completely still and silent for at least ten minutes, thinking things over. Sangwoo was staring intensley at nothing, his eyes still shrink wrapped in tears.

"Woo- I mean- Sangwoo, it's okay. I understand."

Sangwoo looked up at him hopefully,

"You do?"

"Yeah. I get why you did it and I guess I'm even a little relieved that you did. But Sangwoo, you have to realize that we can't be together anymore. I can't be around someone like you, you're too dangerous. I just can't stay knowing that one day you might snap and hurt me like my uncle did. I know you'll say that you would never do that but I... I just can't be sure. And I can't talk to someone like you if I'm not sure."

He knew by this point Sangwoo would not get angry at him for saying this, but he still felt a pang of anxiety. Sangwoo's expression turned completely blank, like someone had drained all of his emotions. He stood up slowly, his knees cracking under his weight, and began to leave the room. Just before he stepped out he said;

"It's okay. I want to protect you from anything that would hurt you. If you feel like I might hurt you, I'll just have to protect you from me."

He shut the door behind him. Yoonbum slouched down onto the mattress, completely drained. Before he knew it, he was fast asleep.