Kill Me Softly

Back With Him

When he woke up, Yoonbum didn't know where he was. He began to panic, wondering what had happened, when he came to his senses and recognized his apartment. He was in his own bed and very confused. Had everything been just a dream? He sat up slowly and felt a dull pain in the back of his head. He lifted his hand and felt the bandages wrapped around his wound. So if he hadn't been dreaming, how was he back home? Then, on his nightstand, he noticed a bit of paper and a glass of water. Grabbing them both, he sat back on his bed and unfolded the note. It was written neatly, but towards the bottom it seemed like someone had spilled some drops of water on it. He began to read,

Yoonbum, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. In your best interest, I won't be a part of your life anymore. I've contacted a doctor and told him to visit you every other day to see how you're doing. I also talked to your teachers and they've excused you from any work you had. All I want is you to be happy, and if that means I can't see you then I can live with that. Please be happy, Bum.

To his surprise, Yoonbum felt guilty. He knew he didn't have to make Sangwoo happy, especially when it wouldn't make him happy. But he remembered Sangwoo's face when he told him he understood him. He remembered the joy he had felt when he saw Sangwoo smile. Yoonbum realized that he was happy when Sangwoo was happy. Suddenly, Yoonbum could imagine himself standing where Sangwoo must have stood the night he saved him. He imagined himself at the top of the stairs, hearing the yells that echoed from the room below. The basement light switched on and Yoonbum could see a man he did not know standing over a limp figure. When the man lifted the figure, as though to hit it again, Yoonbum saw that it was his mother, bruised and covered in blood. He knew the man had been responsible and felt his body fill with hatred so intense it shocked him out of his daydream. Yoonbum sat, breathing heavily. The vision was obviously not real, but it did show Yoonbum something. It showed him exactly what it would have been like to be in Sangwoo's shoes that night. To see the one you love most in the world hurt so badly was indescribable. The rush of emotion Yoonbum had felt in that moment was more intense than anything he had ever felt, and in that moment he understood Sangwoo perfectly. The more he thought about it, the more he discovered his real feelings. He realized everything he had failed to recognize before; he didn't want to be without Sangwoo. He realized that he loved Sangwoo for what he had done. Even though everything he had ever been taught went against it, Yoonbum somehow believed that Sangwoo was not a bad person at all. Caught up in his emotions, Yoonbum almost didn't hear the knock on the front door. He went to answer it, pleased at his ability to walk again, and opened the door to a total stranger.

"Um, hello there. I'm the doctor here to see Yoonbum."

"Oh. Yes, hi. I'm Yoonbum. Please come in."

Yoonbum showed the doctor inside, embarrassed by his small, dirty apartment. The doctor sat awkwardly on a kitchen stool and without further conversation, checked Yoonbum's head as well as all his other vital information.

"Well, you seem to be healing well. Have you eaten anything? You should stick to healthy foods just in case. It seems like you hit your head pretty hard, but I'd say you should be back to normal in a few days. You've had a concussion before, right? Just follow those same rules. Not too much time with electronics, stay hydrated, you get it. If you don't need anything else, I'll be out of here."

The doctor seemed eager to get out of the apartment. It was pretty disgusting, Yoonbum wouldn't have been living there if he could have found somewhere else to stay. Yoonbum hadn't been listening to a word the doctor had said. He had been thinking about Sangwoo, about his feelings, and about what he should do now. He felt as though he had thrown away the opportunity to get to know someone who truly cared about him. The more he thought, the more he was sure he knew what he needed to do.

"Wait! Don't go yet. Could you actually, um, drive me somewhere first?"

The doctor looked taken aback. He wasn't used to this kind of request from his patients.

"Well I suppose I could... why do you need me to do it?"

"I don't have a car and I don't have the money for a bus. It's only a short way away, I used to walk there."

The doctor sighed deeply, as if he'd rather do anything else, and nodded grudgingly. Yoonbum thanked him somewhat excessively and hopped into his car. He gave directions and the doctor sighed. They eventually stopped at their destination and Yoonbum quickly got out of the car, sensing the doctor wanted to get rid of him. As soon as he closed the door the car sped away. Yoonbum ignored the doctor's rudeness and turned to face the building, preparing himself for what he had to do next.