Apocolypse

13 Days Before

I woke up on the floor in front of my home door. I was curled in a ball in Harry's lap with his arms wrapped around me. He was softly snoring and looked beautiful with the rising sun's light flashing on his face through the window. It was heavenly.

Although the weather outside was beautiful and the songs of the birds filled the air, inside my home-my world- it was like I was sitting in a dark hole in the deepest pits of hell. So far that no one, not even the devil himself, dared to enter. A sharp pain jolts in my chest and lurch forward violently and Harry jerks awake.

"I'm sorry." I mumble. Harry leans back pulling me back to his chest and sighing. "Don't apologize," his raspy morning voice fills the air. "Do not ever be sorry." He closed his eyes momentarily and opened them when I stirred to get up. I stand up slowly and I'm embarrassed when I realize I'm only wearing a large shirt that was once my late father's. I pulled it down and Harry blushes.

I hurry out of the main room to mine and put purple sleeping pants on. I emerge out of the room and Harry is next to the door leaned on the wall. "I wanted to make sure you were okay." he says before I can answer the question. I sigh and he opens his arms to me and I lean into him. I reach only to his shoulders and he presses his arms against my back. I feel as though I'm melting into him.

Harry says he doesn't mind, but I know I'm far too intrusive. I take up too much time. No body should have to handle my issues. Especially Harry. He's had to deal with me for far too long to just claim he doesn't mind always having to rush to my house in the middle of the night, stay on the phone with me for hours on end, listen to me cry, and have to put off his friends for me. Uninvited tears soak my face and his shirt. 'How long have I been crying' I wonder. I'm shaking uncontrollably and I'm just.... exhausted. Harry lifts me up off the ground into his arms and carries me to my room. He lays me down in the bed and curl into a ball to try to stop the ripping in my chest.

I feel Harry lay behind me and wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me close. I slowly begin to rock myself as my sobbing dies down. I'm so tired, and I know that I can finally sleep now that I'm so very tired. I was drowning and coughing and Harry pulled me tighter. After forcing myself to breath normally and shut down my brain, the sweet feeling of sleep interludes me.

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I love seeing Emma like this, sleeping. It's the only time when she is peaceful since the funeral. This poor beautiful girl, she doesn't deserve this at all. Someone as sweet, and generous like EJ never deserved something like this.

She was always so happy, since the day that I met her. Always smiling, and thanking people. Her habit of always saying that she's sorry for things that she isn't faulted for, it's the reason I'm here for her. I always stood up for her when she didn't notice the people being rude, or cruel to her.

EJ doesn't know I'm completely head over heels for her. She told me years ago after her father died and her mother's cancer came back, "All my focus is in my mom right now. She's my world." I remember thinking to myself 'And you're my world.' I didn't want to force her into anything. I just told her I would be here for her. I don't think she ever had the idea of my crush on her. I should have told her, though. Because this is far more than a crush now. It's not third grade anymore.

Now that Emma is so vulnerable, It's bothering me to the point that I cry at night sometimes, knowing that I will have to rush over when I hear her screams in the middle of the night. She is in so much pain, and when she sleeps, for a few moments she can forget the pain that this world has forced on her.

I pull myself away from her and stumble to the kitchen. I know she hasn't eaten anything since Wednesday. It's Saturday now. I don't care if I have to force feed her, she's gonna get sick if she doesn't eat. I start to pull out eggs and bacon and start cooking.

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The smell of smoke and the smoke detector wake me up. "Shit!" I hear Harry. I sit up and walk to the kitchen where Harry is on a stool waving his hands around the smoke detector. I stand and watch his useless efforts fail she he finally pulls the batteries out.

He mumbles under his breath as he steps down off the chair and catches a glimpse of me standing in the doorway. He smiles sympathetically, "Im sorry, EJ." he says. I shake my head, "It's fine, Hay."

He walks over and sets the batteries on the counter as he wraps me in a hug tightly. I sigh in relief. "I made you eggs and slightly burnt bacon." he giggles. I look at the stove to see dark, crispy bacon and eggs on two plates. My stomach gets queasy and I shake my head. "Please eat, Em." He begs. I stare blankly at him then give into his perfect face. "Fine." I say and walk to the counter and pick up a piece of the crispy bacon. "Thank you." he says as he picks up both of our plates and brings them to the table.

I sit next to him, slowly crunching the bacon in between my jaws. It does feel good to eat a little. "Do you want some juice? There's apple and orange." he says from the refrigerator. I nod. He comes back with two glasses of apple juice. He slowly eats his food while I take a few forced notes of eggs. After 15 painful minutes of nauseating dining, I push my plate away. I finish my juice and watch Harry.

He looks at me, then my plate. He relaxes his shoulders and looks disapprovingly at me, "Emma Jake," he begins. I purse my lips to avoid a smirk. He's the only one who could make me smile just by saying my name. When he sees the failed attempt at hiding a smile, he brightens. I realize it's the first time I've smiled since my mom...

I shake away the thought. "Fine." he sighs. He brings our plates to the sink and sets them down carefully. "Go get dressed." he says. "Why? I question.

"We are gonna go do something."

I pour and shake my head vigorously. "Yes, Emma. I'm not letting you sit in this dark house. Please, at least come with me and we can go do whatever you want. I will even go to Starbucks with you." He pleas. "Okay." I say. "I need to shower." I tell him. He bites his lip and looks at the ground.

"You don't have to go with me." I mumble and look at the ground as I blush. "Yeah I do, EJ. You already know that." he says. I sigh. Since I was 15 I had to be supervised when I was I the shower. I had to have my mom when I bathed, and had to leave the door open when relieving myself. The botched suicide attempt, no one trusted me alone. It took me 3 hours to talk Harry out of trying to move in with me when my mom couldn't get out of bed anymore. I sulk to my room and take out a pair of jeans and a purple sweater that was my mom's at one time.

I walk to the door and step in the shower and close the curtain. I hear Harry come in and sit on the toilet. I pull off my clothes. And throw them out the shower. I turn on the after and let it run. I see the razor sitting on the edge of tub. I pick it up and shove it out the shower, Harry grabs it and sighs. "Thank you." he says. I grunt in return.

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I just want her to be safe. She doesn't understand that. She's so important, if she hurt herself-or worse- I wouldn't know what to do. I love her.