The next few days in college were different, the air was thicker and my stomach heavy. I wanted to see Lauren so bad, but I knew doing so would only cause problems. I wanted to know what was going on between the two of us, but I was so afraid of the answer I chose not to ask the question. Instead I spent the time avoiding her, going about my college day in the same way I did before I met her, because it was easier that way. Part of me wondered why I hadn't seen her yet, why she also seemed to be avoiding me and during lessons my mind would wander to thoughts of her and what she might be doing right now. Whenever I thought of the person she was spending time with instead, my chest ached and my insides seethed with jealousy. I didn't do anything about it though, Instead i continued to avoid her. I ignored her stares from across the corridor and I stopped taking the long way to lesson, focusing all my attention on getting the poem due in on Friday done.
"Mila, you've been screwing them up for days." Dinah groans, glancing at the pile of paper balls beside me.
"I know, I just want it to be good." I keep my attention on the paper, continuing to write the few words that come to mind.
"I'm sure it's great." She slides the book from beneath my hands, twisting it around so that the words are no longer upside down. Just as she's about to read, Shawn takes a seat at the table, shortly followed by Kevin.
"What's that?" Shawn asks, pointing toward the small book Dinah is now holding.
"Mila has to write a poem for English." The blonde states, meeting his eyes.
"I'm guessing that hasn't been going very well so far?" Kevin laughs, picking up one of the balls and throwing it at his best friend.
"I'm struggling." I sigh, taking the book from Dinah and closing it. "It has to be in tomorrow." I rest my head in my hands and Shawn places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"I can help." He smiles, reaching for the remains of the stuff I'd written earlier. I watch as he places each of them in the bin at the end of the table, taking no notice of the words. "What are you writing about?"
"It has to be about something we love."
"And what do you love?" Kevin chirps in, leaning forward slightly to sit on his leg.
"I love a lot." I state and Dinah nods her head in agreement.
"What's your favourite colour?" Shawn asks, bringing my attention back to him.
"I love the colours of fall."
"You're going to have to be more specific than that." Kevin laughs, drawing a smile from the blonde sat facing me.
"You know when the leaves on the trees are turning orange, yet there are still glimpses of green while the tips are turning brown?"
"That sounds poetic." Shawn smiles again, reaching for my pen and re opening the book on the back page, scribbling down notes from each question he asks.
After a while, Dinah and Kevin have left for their lessons while Shawn and I continue to write down little bits of information that could contribute to the poem for class.
"Have you spoken to Lauren yet?"
I look up to meet the eyes of the boy speaking and shake my head no. "I don't know what to do, Shawn."
"I honestly believe speaking to her would be the best option right now."
"I've been ignoring her for days without giving her a reason, she probably doesn't want to talk to me."
He hands me the pen again, pointing at the page where our ideas are merging. "Write about her."
"I can't do that!" My voice comes out much louder than I expected and the boy laughs again, causing heads around the canteen to raise.
"Fine, fine... ok, so what have we got?" He pulls the book toward him again, skimming the lines quickly. "You wanna be a songwriter, right?" I meet his eyes, twisting the pen in my hands before nodding my head. "Then I definitely think you could make something of that."
"Thank you."
"Now, enough of that for now. Wanna get out of here?" He questions, standing and reaching out his hand, helping me up. He slings his bag over his shoulder, grabbing the book and pen and putting them into my own bag for me.
I follow him through the double doors and back out into the agora. He then nods his head in the direction of the stairs and I reluctantly follow him down to the performing arts area where I heard Lauren's friends singing.
Shawn pushes another door open, leading into a medium sized room containing a piano and a few desks lined with chairs. Acoustic and electric guitars are hung on the far wall beside a smaller keyboard. There's a white board on the wall by the door we entered through and another door behind the piano leading into what looks like a recording studio.
"Let's have some fun." He smiles again, dumping his bag on the ground before sitting st the piano.
"You sing?"
"Only in the shower." I laugh, taking a seat beside him.
I watch as his fingers place down on a few keys, allowing music to fill the room. He continues and I begin to sway, listening to him play before he starts singing.
The two of us sit there for a while, enjoying the music being made before Shawn stops, nodding to the keys. "Can you play?" He asks, smiling.
"I uh, I know a little bit. Not much though."
"Here, copy me." He begins playing again, slowly laughing when my fingers struggle to reach as may keys as his large hands. Within a few minutes the two of us are covering the hills, Shawn playing as I sing and for the first time in the past week the weight on my shoulders was easing. "You have an amazing voice." He states once the song comes to an end, raising his eye brows with a huge grin.
"Thanks."
"No really, Camila. We should absolutely come back and record that in there." He stands, closing the lid over the keys of the piano. "I have to go now, but i promise I have so much more to say on this matter." The excitement in his voice causes me to laugh as I watch him grab his bag and head to the door.
"See you." I wave at him briefly, the smile on my face being completely wiped by the green eyed girl stood in the door way.
"Holy shit." She smiles brightly, enhancing the small creases beside her lips and my spine tingles.
"Lauren-"
"I need to talk to you." She states, cutting me off as her features grow dark.
"I should really go-"
"Camila, please." She steps into the room, closing the door behind her softly before leaning against it. "Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not avoiding you." I lie and she scoffs, running her fingers through her hair. I stay stood by the piano as she makes her way toward me, taking both my hands in hers. "I don't think you-"
"Talk to me, Camz." She forces, meeting my eyes.
"I know you're seeing someone, Lauren" I state, a little harsher than I expected and her gaze falls on the floor. "And that's ok, I know we weren't a thing-"
"It's not like that Camila." The girl sighs, letting go of my hands while pulling out a chair.
"Then what is it like? Because I sure as hell don't know what's going on."
I watch as she frowns tugging at the roots of her hair slightly before standing again. "Things are complicated." She groans, rubbing her dulling eyes with the balls of her hands, making them red. She sits for a moment, the silence in the room causing goosebumps to rise on my skin.
"Lauren-" I begin and the girl sighs, looking up to meet my eyes, easing her features before frowning again. Her whole complexion grows slightly paler, as though she just remembered something that was now draining her insides.
"You know what, it is like that." She stands, heading toward the door and leaving without another word.
YOU ARE READING
Breathing underwater
Fanfiction" When I was younger, my mother told me that things are only hard as you make them, but it was the green eyed girl that made leaving her feel like breathing underwater. "
