Adopted by Joe Sugg

'Are you alright, Mia?'...

Late December, 2014

Ever since the night when the nightmare haunted me, after I thought it had left me for good, anxiety has taken over. Every time Joe and Caspar came to visit, I was constantly on edge, and I knew they noticed. It feels like our strong bond is just getting weaker, because of my stupid anxiety.

Time skip

**JOES POV**

Today I'm visiting the orphanage, to see Mia, and to possibly arrange her first visit to the apartment. We hesitated to do this, because Mia has been really on edge lately. I have a feeling it's anxiety, because of adoption and everything. I know it's anxiety because it seems like what Zoe told me about it.

The thing is, that we don't know about Mia's past, and how she got herself into the orphanage. Before we can ask her, we have to build up the bond again, which I have a feeling is gonna take a while.

"Bye, Zoe!" I call out as I exit the Zalfie pad. I've been staying with Zoe and Alfie for the past couple months, since the orphanage is in Brighton.
"Bye, Joe! Have a good time!" Zoe calls back. Caspar isn't coming this time, he's gone to South Africa for a week or so, just to catch up with family and stuff. He's been staying with Zoe with me as well, since the adoption is a joint thing.

When I get to the orphanage, I am greeted at the door by Emma. She invites me into her office, where we sit and chat about Mia for a while.
I ask about her coming to see our house.
"So, I was wondering, when do you think Mia will be ready to come to our house?"
"Well, we would let her decide when she's ready to see you out of the orphanage. We would make it at your sisters house first, because it's here in Brighton, and when she's ready, she can go back to London with you for an overnight stay. So it may be in a few weeks, or in worst case scenario, a few months. But I highly doubt it'll be that long. It all depends on how Mia feels".
"Ok. So, shall we get Mia?" I say. I really wanted to see her.
"Ok. You can go up whenever you want".
Without answering, I get up and find the room with Mia's name. I've never been anywhere in the orphanage except the office and Mia's favorite garden bed. I knock on the door.
"Come in!" She calls.
I open the door.
"Hello, Mia!" I say.
"Hi Joe." She says quietly.
"Do you want to come down to have a chat?"
"Ok". She sounded more confident all of a sudden. "Where's Caspar? You both always come here together."
"He's just gone to South Africa for about a week, just missing family, he hasn't seen them in ages".
"Oh, okay. Let's go down".

**MIAS POV**

I go downstairs with Joe. Today I'm feeling quite confident for some reason, more than usual. We both go downstairs and into Emma's office.

"So, Mia. Tell me, how do you fell about your relationship with Joe?" Emma asks. I realize that Joe isn't in the room.
"Well, it's pretty good, I really like him, and I'm starting to feel like a part of his family, not just a friend". It was true, I just couldn't show it whenever him and Caspar came.
"Ok, that's great. How do you feel about going to his house sometime soon?"
"Really? Yes! But doesn't he live in London?"
"Oh, yes. He's staying with his sister and her boyfriend who live in Brighton. Would you like to go there?"
I wanted to go to London, but Emma had told me that it would be an overnight stay, because we would have to drive there, and back.
"Umm, I'll go to Zoe's with him. I think I'm ready now to be honest!" I say. I really was dying to go somewhere with him, but anxiety always took over at the worst times.

**JOES POV**

I'm waiting outside the office. Emma told me that she was gonna ask Mia some questions about how she felt, and thought she would be better if I wasn't in there. I hear the door open, and Emma and Mia walk out.

"So, Mia decided that she wants to go to Zoe's today!"
I'm surprised. Already? That's amazing! I look at Mia, and she looks happy about it. Finally, we were making good progress!
"That's great! Well, are you ready to go?" I ask her.
"Yep. Let me just get my phone", she says and then she goes up to her room, and comes down with her phone.
"Ready". She says.
With that, we hop in the car and drive off.

**MIAS POV**

Yay! I'm finally going to Joe's house, well, it's Zoe's house, but it's still great! Suprisingly, I'm not anxious at all, but I have a feeling it will come soon.
"So, are you excited? I am!" Joe says from the front of the car.
"Yep! I can't wait!" I exclaim.
"What music do you like? I have an aux cord if you want it", he says as he hands back the cord. I don't want to give it back while he's driving, and I don't want to just awkwardly leave it sitting there, so I plug it in my phone, and press 'Shuffle'. 'Sorry' comes on, and we both sing along.
It is really starting to feel like, we are family. I can be myself around him, with out getting anxious. Well, today I can. Every other day, I've been on edge and not able to say what I want to.

When we pull up at Zoe's, the anxiety kicks in. I knew it would eventually, but I try not to show it. We walk up to the door, and go in. I hear Zoe singing along to Christmas songs, even though it's June.
"Oh hello Joe! Oh, and you must be Mia!" Zoe says. Her voice is so cheerful, kind of reassuring in a way.
"Hey Zoe". I say. It's all that comes out. And it comes out shyly, which makes me sound unconfident and childish.
"Ello Joe! Brought along a guest have you?", Alfie says. He's taller in real life, than he seems in his videos, anyway. He has the same voice as the videos as well.
"Allo Alfredo! Alfie, Mia. Mia, Alfie", Joe said with hand gestures.
"Hey Alfie. Nice to meet you", I say, even more stupidly than before.

After being there for about half an hour, I randomly start to feel dizzy. I start to feel my body tense up, as the world goes wobbly, then turns into a blurry mess. I hear my breath getting shorter and louder, but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything.
"Are you alright,Mia?" Joe says calmly. I realise I'm leaning on him, so he feels my breathing.
I want to say I'm not okay, but whenever I try, I just cough and splutter. I feel a tightness in my throat, like someone in holding it.
"Zoe! Come here!" Joe calls our to Zoe, who is in the kitchen. She comes in, and sees me.
"Okay Mia. It's okay. Everything will be okay. Try to match my breathing. In, and out. In, and out", Zoe says, reassuring me. I slowly calm down. My breathing is close to normal, and I can talk and I have sensation in my body.
"That was a panic attack. I have those when I get anxious. Do you have anxiety that you know of?"
"I- I think I do. Ever since I had the dream again, it's been getting in the way.
"What dream?" Joe asked. I remembered that they don't know about the dream, or even about my past.
I tell them all about the dream, every detail I remember. I tell them all about my past as well, because I feel like it's time they know.

**JOES POV**

Mia tells us about the dream and how it's been making her anxious. She tells us everything, about her past and everything. By the time she finishes, her face is soaked in tears. She looks broken, and sad. Everyone is silent as all the information sinks in.

"Do you want to go back to the orphanage?" I say, breaking the silence.
"Y-yes. Please", Mia says, still shaken from the panic attack.

We pull up at the orphanage, and go inside. Mia runs straight up to her room, and we tell Emma everything about what happened. She said that she hasn't been anxious in ages, and it was unusual that she had that panic attack.
"Should she go to counseling or something?" Zoe says. "It really helped me when I was younger".
"At the moment it's our only option. But last year, her anxiety was really bad, so we took her to a therapist. The whole appointment she didn't cooperate, she just look at the floor. When the lady finally asked her about her past, she lost it. She started crying, and ran out and into the streets, where she ran up 3 blocks and stayed there. When we found her, she got into the car and said that she was never doing therapy again".

"Oh. Well, we best be heading back now", I say, wanting to go back to Zoe's to go through this in my head.
"Ok. We will call you when we think Mia's ready to see you again."
After we say our goodbyes, we hop in the car and drive home.