SUFFERING // Zayn Malik AU

I. Demons

I see demons in the eyes of my best friend. Jade was her name, that one girl I’ve been friends with for such a long time. We used to be inseparable, she and I, we were friends forever. But now when I look up into her dark green eyes, I pity her. Not me, the one spread apart across her feet as I had no strength to get up, no her. Because I loved her, I still can’t completely hate her. Not even after everything she put  me through. Not even after I saw her humanity slipping away from her fingers.

I see angry demons, when she looks down at my fragile body. She merely snaps her fingers and I hear footsteps approaching the remainings of what used to be, me.  I am able to lift my head for a brief moment and attempt to smile at Aaron, the boy whom I dated seven months ago, but the stern look on his face remained.

“Why?” I ask him. But the hoarseness of my voice was too thick, which made this one simple word vanish in the coldness of this inhuman building. I cough and look at my hand, covered in small drops of crimson colored blood. “Why?” I whisper now, hoping the words are coming out clearer. But instead of an answer, Aaron pulls me up and lets me collapse again because of the sole weakness in my body. A side effect of the lack of sleep and nourishment.

“Zayn” His voice was deeper and more masculine than I could remember. “Help carrying... this” he  looked at me as if he despised the mere existence of me . “To its cell”. My eyes failed to take in the appearance of the boy I’ve never seen before, but I can vaguely see the structure of his cheekbones, almost too perfect to be human. His face is covered in dark brown facial hair and his eyes pierced into me with such light, it was the only thing I've seen that gave me hope after I arrived in this prison. But as soon as his strong fingers were wrapped harshly around my forearm, the only light I was already lucky to perceive faded. Two minutes later I was thrown  into my cell and the harsh painful sound of the iron door reverberated for several seconds into my ears when the two boys closed the door with such force, that it would be impossible to move it alone. Even when I wasn’t totally impoverished.  

“She’s not going to make it if we don’t feed her.” I heard an unfamiliar voice so gentle, it kept me wondering if this voice could belong to such a heartless creature.

“Please, Zayn. The chip in her brain keeps her alive no matter what.” I hear my former best friend say with such annoyance, I can only fear the consequences of this anger.

“Face it, Jade!” Aaron is speaking now with clear frustration in the undertone of this simple gesture of disgust. “If you still desire to torture her, she needs at least some water to regain some of her strength.” were they defending me? “She won’t feel anything if she’s this worn out” Okay they weren’t defending me. How was it even possible to think such a thought after what they've done to me. 

“No creature is made to live forever. Not even with the intervention of science.” I heard the soft voice again.

  “Tomorrow” Jade gave in after a long moment of silence. After that I was left alone with the comfort of my mind. The worst thing about all of this suffering, was that I wasn’t even able to dream. She didn’t even give me the opportunity to forget this surreal, but oh so actual hell through the beauty of sleeping. She leaves me with the fake memories of the two of us being friends.

“Do you think this looks good?” I asked a smiling Jade. She looked at me with so much adoration I could only be lucky to call her my friend.

“Aaron is going to drool, seriously Lex. Fuck, this is so gorgeous.” She took my hand and twirled me around to let admire my reflection in the mirror. I have to admit, she was right. I did look gorgeous in that dress.

“I’ll take it then.” The laughter that escaped both of our lips re-echoes through the small walls from the shop we were in for at least three hours.

“I can’t believe my mum allows you to go out on a Tuesday night.” She giggled as I nodded.

“I know right?”

“Let’s go” she took my hand and pulled me to the cash register.

If I could’ve cry, I certainly would have. But I didn’t think there’s any moisture left in my body. My situation was so unnatural, I knew that more than anyone. And I also know Jade was the reason of that, or actually Jade’s incomprehensible mind and money. Her insanity paid my doctor to implant a chip into my brain that withholds my system to be able to sleep. My mind refuses to sleep but my body does need the rest, which causes my state right now. I would never have believed science was already this far, but obviously, I was wrong. I wish I was right, but I wasn’t. I also wish I could be angry, or at least feel something. But I don’t , I cannot feel a thing. Not anger towards my former best friends who didn’t only betray me but mentally and physically tortured me in every possible way. Not sadness, because everyone I’ve ever known secretly hates my guts so much they can’t even grant me death. Not outraged, for all these former reasons. Just complete nothingness. Don’t get me wrong here, I didn’t feel happy either. No, that would be ludicrous given the circumstances.  My knackered eyes just stared endlessly at the gray walls. And sometimes, if I was lucky, the voices in my head would appear and talk to each other. And I would finally feel something. I would feel fascinated, listening to the various voices inside of my head.

I know, I am insane. But who isn’t? Isn’t there always one little, tiny part of your brain reserved for insanity? One person dares to believe it just a little bit more than the other.

“Drink” Aaron’s voice penetrated my ears and ‘woke me up’ from those insane thoughts. I eagerly took the iron cup from his large hands with the minimum strength I had left and placed the cold material between my lips. The water tasted bitter, but I could feel all the dryness fix itself. It felt like magic, but I still couldn’t feel anything. There was no emotion of satisfaction or anything near.

“Show some respect!” He snapped and my eyes fluttered open.

“Thank you, Aaron” he shivered lightly by hearing his name falling from my lips in such slow motion it’s almost painful. Or the matter of his shivering could also be my mad smirk placed on my lips.

“Rot in hell, bitch!”

“Let me die, then” I challenged him with the biggest smirk I could afford. He didn’t really know what to say, so he walked away without saying one word. He did take the time to turn around and flick me off. My mouth shot open and an emotionless laughter echoed through the old building.

“Shut the fuck up” I heard Jade scream, but this was the closest I’ve been to feeling anything ever since she locked me up in this cellar, so I kept going, until my throat hurt again, and I couldn’t bring out a sound. I licked the remaining drops of water from the cup and lay down, waiting for the voices to come. I miss them, it’s been too long since I’ve heard my own little personalities.

‘You’re sick’

‘Are you out of your mind? You are sick’

‘Shut the fuck up, I am trying to sleep’

‘Sleep? you know that’s impossible’

Victory! Here they were. If I could feel it, I would certainly love these little guys to death. 

[A/N Please let me know what you think of it? and please vote? it takes one second and you'll make my day! ♥ Love you all xx

[Also dedicated to my friend Carolina for editing, she's the best!]