Lost in Ones Fears

Chapter 2: Part 2

~Chapter 2: Jonathan ~

The silhouette was unforgettable, it was her, it just had to be her. What had she been doing out here, this late? Even from this angle I could see her eyes began to water, she was crying out for someone. I would have given anything to know who. I told myself I would stay away yet people's fears had always intrigued me. I began to walk forward, her hair looked different now. No, it wasn't darker or longer it was... I shook my head unable to put a finger on it. I stood above her a moment debating whether I should speak up.

My voice sounded crackly, disturbing the barrier between us.

"Let me help you up."

I went over to reach her arm. Just to hold on to her, once more to confirm she was alive as reinsurance this wasn't some hallucination. She began to shriek. I felt her cry piecing into my soul. The one most people did not believe I have. Immediately, I pulled away. Had I hurt her? Or worse, did she remember me? I couldn't help but take a couple of steps backwards.

"Stop! Get away!"

She must have felt like I was attacking her or something. What did she see? Oh Sarah what have you seen? I can't imagine the fears I have caused you to relive again and again. They have eaten away at me yet I'm helpless to my creation. I could only stand there frozen in my tracks, watching her push herself back wards. Our eyes met. I would be lying to say I didn't hope she would say my name. Call me Johnny once more. No, she didn't recognize me, the puzzled expression on her face only proved it.

"I....I did this....stay away."

Her voice sounded truly frighten, how I wished I knew what she was talking about. My eyes stared back at hers, her wonderful deep blue eyes. The more I looked they were not the same blue I remembered. Not the deep blue of the ocean, all the innocence was gone. They didn't look blue anymore but grey. A stone cold grey, a wall, a barrier. Her eyes have never been blue, not since the experiment. I sighed to myself kneeling down beside her. This was a bad idea, why was I getting so close?

"What have you done?"

I was rather good at hiding any expression on my face. I didn't want her to recognize, a smile, a look anything. The only thing worse then her not knowing me would be to hate me.

"I have ki-"

She began to speak but her voice trailed off. I followed Sarah's gaze to the street and took a deep breath. Of course there was nothing. Nothing for her would ever be reality, and it was all my fault. Her voice broke the silence,

"I have to go."

She sounded so scared, so embarrassed. I should have spoke up, I should have yelled out her name. Sarah. No, I could do nothing. I watched her run off, run away from me. Poor girl, she thought she was the monster. Little did she know she was only a victim. My victim. It's not her that's the monster in this world, it's me. A man who let his obsession with fear break the one he loved.