Everything Hurts

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER ONE
Alicia
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
~Albert Einstein

I stumbled outside, slamming the door behind me after doing so.

It was icy, wet, and cold.

The weather of frostbite did not faze me though. I was thinking clearly, focused on the tears running down my face, stimulating a tattered and tired me. I sniffled and wiped them away with my already tear soaked sleeve.

I needed to get away from here. I needed to gogogo.

          "ALICIA!!!"

My bottom lip immediately quivered as my body shook with fear. I jumped as his hand came to my shoulder before I could think any further, much less make a move to run. I nearly jerked away from his grasp to escape, but became incapable to fully process such thoughts as his fingers dug into my collarbone. A cry pushed its way toward the opening of my mouth, but never seemed to escape as he pulled me backward. "You're not going anywhere," he growled into my distressed hair. I pursed my lips in as he then pulled me back into the apartment, pushing me against the stairs once inside. The door was closed, locked, and I was trapped like a fly in a cobweb.

            My face collided with the carpeted stairs, which gave way for my tears to trickle out along with a small yelp of pain. "SHUT UP!" He yelled, proceeding to kick me. I whimpered and began to crawl up the mountain that blurred in my vision. "YOU WANT ME TO GET MAD! YOU WANT TO GET HURT, YOU SICK, LITTLE BITCH!" He then grabbed me by the waist and pulled me up the stairs, my legs thudding against them harshly as we traveled up.

I couldn't help my whimpering after he threw me onto the floor of the bedroom, shadowing over me.

I huddled to the corner nearest me without thinking.

           "I'm sorry, I-I didn't m-mean to...," I attempted. He only rolled his eyes, a course of pain that met my body following suit.

I could tell exactly where the aftermath of his rage would be. Pretending I couldn't feel it...that didn't work for me.

           "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He demanded, only an inch from my face. I had my bottom lip between my teeth, biting down tightly, trying not to say anything and willing myself not to cry – but he was already enraged and his once blue eyes were a smokey shade of black. If I stared just right, I could see myself sinking in his inky glare. "JUST SHUT UP!" He yelled again, kicking me repeatedly as I lay on the ground helplessly.

           I attempted to crawl away, but felt too weak. Jason grabbed me by my hair, yanking me backward and forcing me to stand. He looked me in the eyes as a loud cry of pain ripped itself from my throat. I tried desperately not to let anymore tears spill from my eyes, but my body ached and everything in the room slowly began to spin along with my stomach. My legs shook underneath me, the only thing supporting my upright position being the rough hands keeping me there.

           "Please! I'm so sorry! I was wrong, Jason!" I squeaked out hoarsely. I wasn't quite sure why I still tried to convince him. I suppose I just wanted to calm him down and if I didn't try, well...I don't know.

           He let go of my hair, watching me stumble as I tried to gain balance. I felt my stomach recoil while my head swirled. I then clung to the wooden bedpost I was able to grasp and waited for the room to stop twirling on its own, eyes squeezed tightly together. He suddenly opened the window of the bedroom. I swallowed, focusing on not vomiting; my throat felt scarred and raw as it was. My left eye began to swell. Physically, I felt tired and dizzy. Mentally, I felt drained and anxious.