Everything Hurts

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FOUR
Alicia
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
~J.K. Rowling

           

"JASON, STOP! PLEASE," I screamed as the side of his foot met my face. I cried out in agony, unable to move my limbs, my head trying to catch up with the rest of me. My body felt as if it were going numb, tingling as he relentlessly kicked me. My eyelids felt heavy, tired. Blurry images began to trickle their way into my head. It was odd seeing them flicker across my vision, blurring Jason's malicious, black pupils that covered his whole iris. A ringing ran through my ears until I couldn't hear anything, a dark flash covering my vision before I saw the images again.

           I suddenly realized that I had to snap out of this. I blinked a few times and the ringing pierced inside of my head until Jason's voice overdrew it. I fluttered my eyes several times, trying to refocus my vision on anything — the wall, Jason's angry mouth, the bed from afar. That was, until he grabbed me by the hair then pushed me into the wall, letting me collapse back down.

          Keep your breathing languid and deep. You are okay.

           "You just thought it'd be great to embarrass me out there?! Let me tell you something: It isn't funny, bitch!" I blinked, concentrating on his face. I could hear him, but couldn't quite register what he was saying. I tried to apologize, a wheezing noise escaping my throat.

           "I'm s-sor-"

           "I'm sorry; I'm so sorry, Jason!!!" He snapped nastily, mocking my pleas. He grabbed me by the hair as he imitated me, coming an inch away from my face as he said, "I didn't mean to! I won't do it again, Jason! THAT'S ALL I EVER HEAR FROM YOU! YOU'RE NEVER SORRY! YOU JUST WANT ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP INSTEAD OF TAKING WHAT'S COMING TO YOU, GETTING WHAT YOU DESERVE!" He spit and shook his head viciously at me. "YOU ARE A DISGUSTING WHORE; JUST A PATHETIC BROAD! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, YOU WHINY, LITTLE BITCH!" He yelled. I let out a small cry at his words ringing in my ears before his voice went menacingly low. "Why don't you ever listen?!" He shook his head and threw me back to the ground then kicking my back. My spine arched as my mouth fell open in pain, no sound escaping. I squeezed my eyes together and couldn't breathe. I finally let out an animalistic sound. "What? What? You have something to say!?" He rose, astonished.

           More tears spilled, my shaking getting frenzied. In return of that comment I tried to stop, but I could still hear my throat and nose whistling with the cries and I felt shooting pains throughout my back and legs, head spinning violently. I didn't know what to do or how to end it, I only wheezed and whined. The lack of sensation began to diminish, coming back and giving my fingers a small twitch. I almost wanted to cry joyous tears because of it. "Forget it. I'm done with you. You're pitiful and you'll never understand, will you?" He growled with a dejected, sickened expression.

           As Jason finally strode out of our bedroom closet I tried to push my breath out, but let out a silent groan instead as a piercing feeling touched my abdomen. It was difficult to inhale and I felt like something was stabbing me from within my belly. Trembling fiercely, I slowly glanced down and saw my limbs swelling, tenderly bruising purple and black. I squeezed my eyes together tightly and cried weakly.

           I attempted steadying my breath. I needed to make sure I stayed calm, though my claustrophobia made that difficult, trapped inside of a closet with no control of my body. I felt shooting pains and didn't want to move as the tingling sensation came and then began to dissipate continuously. The numb feeling wanted to take over as well as sleep. My eyelids got heavier; I began to cry more as fear and panic crept in.

            I knew crying wasn't going to help, but I couldn't help it. Though my ribs rattled, after gathering my strength up I was able to breathe — somewhat. My tears made their way out shakily and painfully. My legs trembled as I moved. I shrilled out in pain. I focused on my ribs and breathing once again. My body was shaking fiercely; all I wanted to do was collapse. I stood up as fully as I was able to and bit my lip until I reopened a scratch and tasted the metallic blood. I then pulled my lip inside my mouth and sucked gently until I didn't taste any blood, calming the wound.

           I trudged to the door and hissed at the feeling my abdomen and back threw at me. I stopped for a minute as my legs buckled under sudden pressure. My lips shook as I continued on my way. I called out, "Jason?" My voice was hoarse and small. "Jason," I called again when there was no reply. I didn't see or hear anyone in the house, managing to limp downstairs, clutching the handle.

           I swallowed, a harsh feeling of raw flesh fill me inside. I looked around and it was hard to see through my left eye, which was swelling up quite nicely. I finally spotted a small, black phone on the edge of the couch. It was almost completely covered with a pillow, but I saw it. I moved as fast as I could to the object that might single handedly save my life and shakily dialed 9-1-1.

           I shuffled my way to the front door. I couldn't have them breaking the door down just to get me some help otherwise Jason would be even more pissed off. The cold caused me to tense up, which only made me wince with the pain thrashing throughout my body at the sudden tension mixed in with mobility. I felt my ribs scraping against one another and I whimpered out in pain, biting my lip afterward. I was starting to feel faint and hazy again. My knees kept buckling and my body was shaking.

            My fingertips started to go numb again as I hit the call button. My vision was going in and out, colors all starting to become dim. "9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

           "I-I need," I was barely able to breathe out, "I-I need...."

           I was blinking, trying to keep myself awake and trying to make the black fog clouding my eyes go away, but I was running out of breath and it hurt to inhale. It hurt to stand. It just hurt. I lost my balance and my eyes drooped quickly. My knees gave in, and the black fog covered everything.