The Guidance Counselor

A New Way to Communicate

The rest of Monday had passed without Lauren seeing Camila again, but now it was Wednesday and just as it had happened the previous morning when she arrived at Palmetto, Camila was waiting for her, slumped back against Lauren's office door. 

"Morning Camila," Lauren greeted and Camila looked up and smiled, but there was something about the way the corners of her mouth twitched that told her Camila was putting on a show. She opened the door silently and let them both in and after she put her purse in the closet, she expected to see Camila curled up the way she had been before, but this time Camila was sitting straight up, cross legged, and staring at Lauren's empty chair. Taking a seat, Lauren once again pulled out her notebook and pen and set it down in front of her and moved to turn on her computer. She didn't say anything, she was quickly learning that things had to be done at a speed that Camila wanted to take, so she waited.

There was a ten minute window of silence, Camila looking at Lauren while Lauren looked at her computer screen, but in a quiet voice Camila finally spoke, "Miss Jauregui, can I ask you something?"

Lauren quirked an eyebrow, she had told Camila to call her Lauren, but she assumed Camila thought she only meant when they were outside of school so she didn't bother correcting her. "What's up?" She asked setting down her pen and giving Camila her undivided attention. 

"Why do people have to change?" Camila's voice was small and she wasn't looking at Lauren again, instead she was tugging at her sleeves, fingers fumbling idly with the fabric. 

"Change can be good-"

"But it's not always," Camila interrupted.

"No, I suppose you're right, but if everyone stayed the same there would be no room for us all to grow as people and as individuals, people have to grow, they have to change in order to make mistakes and learn from them," Lauren could see Camila thinking over what she had said and Camila could see Lauren's figure shifting as the older girl moved to get out of her chair behind the desk. "Can I ask you something?" Lauren asked as she took the seat next to Camila in the other leather tub chair. Camila positioned herself so she was sitting sideways, facing Lauren and she nodded her head, still not looking up. "Is it both arms or just the one?" Lauren questioned, noticing how Camila didn't favor one arm or the other when tugging at her sleeves. Camila didn't answer verbally, instead she rolled up the fabric covering both arms and held them out to Lauren. Just as she had suspected, both Camila's arms were covered in a variety of cuts that were in different stages of the healing process. Her eyes fell to the arm she had never seen before the word 'LONELY' carved into Camila's beautiful skin in capitals letters and Lauren inhaled deep and slow. "Oh honey," Lauren finally managed to get out and Camila just shook her head asking her to not say anything. 

"I'm fine," Camila said to her and Lauren just tilted her head and stared. "It looks bad, but it's under control."

"Camila, that hardly seems under control," Lauren told her. "Why are you lonely?" Lauren asked her eyes scanning the word once more as Camila began to pull down the sleeves on her shirt.

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"Because no one should have to live their life hiding behind so much pain," Lauren said honestly and Camila took a ragged breath and caught Lauren's eyes with her own. They were interrupted by the sound of the warning bell, but when Camila didn't make any effort to move Lauren eyed her carefully.

"I don't have a first period class," Camila informed her and Lauren wondered why she hadn't noticed it on Camila's schedule. "It used to be my Spanish class, but I didn't really need the extra credit, I'll already have enough to graduate without it and I'm fluent so I dropped it, I was just using it to fill space."