The Guidance Counselor

I'm Here, Always

Lauren's car had barely even turned all the way into the Cabello's driveway before the car shut off and the driver's side door opened. Camila took a breath and stood up, bracing herself because she knew tonight was the night she was going to have to give Lauren answers.

"Camila!" Lauren yelled as she rushed towards the younger girl, her arms wrapping around Camila's small frame, Camila took a deep breath and wrapped her self around Lauren, reveling in the first hug they had ever shared, but just as she felt herself relax in the hug she felt Lauren pull away. "Oh honey, let me take a look at you," she said reaching a hand up, her fingers delicately brushing against the bruise on Camila's face. 

"It hurts," Camila whispered and when Lauren started to pull her hand away, she shook her head. "It's okay, you can touch it, just be careful," brown eyes met green and Lauren dropped her hand and closed her eyes for just a second. 

"Who did this to you?" Lauren asked, scared to hear the answer. 

"Can we go inside?" 

Lauren nodded her head and followed Camila inside and upstairs to the girl's room, stopping only to take her shoes off at the front entrance. Once they were in the room, Lauren looked around, Camila's room was black and white and it seemed, like Camila, very disconnected. Standing in the doorway, she took in the sight of the younger girl who was once again playing with the sleeves on her sweater. "Camila?" She said walking over and crouching down in front of her. "Who did this to you?" Camila shook her head and tears started to fall.

"My Dad," she said as the tears fell harder.

"Hey, come here," Lauren whispered as she reached up for Camila and pulled her down onto the floor. "It's okay, it's gonna be okay," she said rubbing the girl's back.

"He hates me, he thinks it's all my fault," Camila cried, her head buried in Lauren's neck. "I didn't want it to happen, I didn't, I kept screaming I kept hoping someone would hear and come and save me but no one came and he was so much bigger than me and I couldn't fight him off and my Dad says it's my fault and my Mom says I brought shame to the family and," Camila was in absolute hysterics and with every word she spoke, Lauren pulled her closer and tightened her grip, "I didn't want it, I didn't, I shouldn't have snuck out, it's all my fault and I have no one and I just want to die."

"You can't die," Lauren mumbled into dark hair.

"I didn't want it, I didn't," Camila's whole body shook and Lauren was breathing heavily her eyes shut tight as she took in everything Camila had said. 

"It's okay, I'm here. Let it out," Lauren told her, as she pressed a kiss to the top of Camila's head. 

"I snuck out and I went to the party and I knew I shouldn't have, but I just wanted one good high school memory, I just wanted to have fun for once and I was responsible, I didn't even drink, not a sip," Camila's hands moved down and Lauren bit back a hiss when Camila's hands slipped under her shirt and rested on her hips. "The music was loud and everyone was acting stupid so I went to where there was no one, I just wanted to look at the water and hear the waves and the fireworks and he came up and I tried to stop him, I tried, but I couldn't and you should have seen my Mom's face and my Dad's when I finally managed to pull myself out of the sand and stumble home, everything hurt and there was so much blood and it was coming from everywhere and they just looked at me like I had killed someone, all I wanted was for them to hold me and tell me everything was okay and I told them what happened and my Mom just told me to go shower so my little sister wouldn't ask questions and my Dad told me that actions have consequences and he always says that and it hurts so bad," Camila pulled back and looked at Lauren, who had tears running down her own face with every detail Camila gave her. "He took everything, he took my parent's love and he took the control I had over my body, he took my dreams, he took everything," Camila was looking straight into Lauren's eyes now and she shook her head, her face crumpling more, even though Lauren  didn't think that it was possible. "Please don't hate me," Camila said as she looked down at her arms and rolled up her sleeves. New cuts and new words were carved into the skin and Lauren had to swallow hard in order to keep herself from throwing up. 

"I could never hate you," Lauren told her in a hushed voice. "I could never hate you, it's not your fault," she was pleading with Camila now, begging the girl to believe her. Lauren's eyes still flicking back and fourth between both of Camila's arms. Carefully, Lauren leaned her body down, her lips just lightly brushing against the rough skin on Camila's wrists, her mouth leaving a trail of light kisses across the the cuts, before moving to do the same on her other arm.

"Lauren?" Camila sighed. "I'm sorry about earlier," she said wiping the tears off her face. 

"It's okay-"

"It's not, you're always so nice to me and I just push you away," Camila said as Lauren sat up straighter and looked at Camila with a glossy sheen over her eyes. 

"You're dealing with a lot, it's okay," Lauren told her. "Come lay down?" Lauren asked as if the question was completely normal, standing up and pulling back Camila's blankets. As soon as Camila was under the covers, Lauren joined her and Camila immediately snuggled in with her head on Lauren's chest. "How many times has your Dad-"

"Last night was the first time," Camila said and the way her voice sounded so broken, made Lauren believe she was telling the truth. "I don't even remember exactly what happened, Sofi and I came home and my parents said they were taking her to Disney and they said I wasn't coming and they started telling me how ashamed they were and how I put them through too much to deserve to go and I said something and all of a sudden I felt my Dad's hand on my face and I was so scared, but I couldn't, I wouldn't let them see it."

"Oh Camz," Lauren said with a shaky breath as she felt more hot tears falling from Camila's face landing on her chest. 

"Camz?" 

"Sorry I-"

"I like it, I like you Lauren," Camila mumbled, turning her head to muffle her words against Lauren's skin. "I wish you weren't my guidance counselor."

"I'm not really," Lauren reminded her, "But I know what you mean."

"Do you like me?"

"I can't answer that Camz."

"I know," Camila said sadly, snugging further into Lauren, her legs tangling with the other girl's, under the blanket. "I didn't mean for it to happen, I tried to stop him," Camila hiccuped, trying to catch her breath and hold back the rest of her tears. 

"It's not your fault," Lauren said, repeating the sentiment she had expressed earlier. "I promise you, it's not your fault. Did they, uh, did they catch him?"

"Would have had to go to the Police for that," Camila told her, looking up slightly as Lauren who's face was contorting at what she had just said. 

"Your parent's didn't-"

"They knew if we did it would get out, they didn't want everyone to know that I was easy and cheap," Camila said to her and the way she held up her hands and put air quotes around the words easy and cheap, told Lauren that those weren't Camila's words, they were someone else's. 

"You're not easy, you're not cheap," Lauren told her, hugging the girl tighter. "You're amazing, you're strong and you're so fucking brave and it was not your fault," Camila let out a small, watery giggle and Lauren knew it was because she had sworn and somehow the girl in her arms found this amusing. "Camz? Stop running from me okay, open up, talk to me, I promise I'll never let you down."

"I'll make sure you get a good grade on your dissertation," Camila mumbled and Lauren shot back, pushing Camila onto the bed as she sat up a little and looked down at the girl with a hurt grimace on her face.

"Fuck my dissertation, fuck my job at Palmetto, this isn't about that, this is about us. This is about you, you need someone and guess what, I need someone too," Lauren admitted. "Fuck everything, fuck, yes Camila, to answer your previous question, yes I like you," Lauren said as she leaned her face down towards Camila's. "Since the second I saw you at the library, that's how long I've wanted to do this," she breathed out, her lips connecting softly with Camila's. 

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A Note From The Author:

Is it okay so far?