Trust No Bitch: Part 2

Clara Wright

After pouring what was left of her whiskey down her throat and lighting a cigarette, Clara held her lighter to the paper she had originally set out to write her eulogy on, and watched as it caught flame. She threw it into her bin and sat cross legged on the floor next to it, motionless, her mind quiescent. Cigarette smoke curled in the air in front of her and feeble flames licked at the top of the bin. Neither bothered her. She'd been up for a few hours already, whiskey on hand, fearful and agitated with a head full of thoughts that she didn't want. Cleo's stepdad, Austin King, the one that Clara'd had sex with earlier that year would be there and this time, contact with him was unavoidable. She would be expected to be civil, to go for a handshake and maybe a kiss on the cheek but a whiff of his cologne would be all she needed. A single bloody whiff and she'd be blindsided by a spate of salacious, contemptible memories and then who knows what she would go on to say, or to do. Sometimes, controlling her own actions could be an arduous task and she had already been weakened by her grief. She wasn't sure what she was saying in her eulogy. Wasn't sure what she would say to Cleo's mum once she let her down. Wasn't sure what she would say to Gemma, Lilly or Alice. Wasn't sure how she would react to Austin's presence. She hadn't even removed the previous night's eyeliner or found anything suitable to wear. Alcohol had allowed her to throw all caution to the wind.