Trust No Bitch: Part 2

Clara Wright

It was the day.

The day Clara was finally going to tell the others about Cleo. About her and Cleo. And about how she was the one that Cleo had left the party to meet the night of the murder. Because, yes, surprise! That had been her and she was sure that Alice bloody Jenkins would work it out at some point or another.

Their relationship desperately needed explicating. There was going to be no more drinking binges and throwing up after rambled professions of her love for Cleo, nor secrets about what had happened between them, each one a towering brick wall between her and the others. Just the unvarnished truth. She had left her flat that morning, her mannerisms glutted with her intentions, her leg bouncing up and down throughout the lecture, her throat feeling as if one burly hand was wrapped around it, and her heart doing a zealous jig inside her chest. She'd tried to keep up with the notes but her mind kept vacating her body, her body doing little to snatch it back and slot it into place. Exacerbating her angst, which was blustering away in the gulf of her stomach, was the fact that Lilly hadn't bothered to show up to the lecture. Oddly, she'd been waiting outside prior to them going in but had never actually entered the room. Gemma and Alice casually disregarded Lilly's absence as they sat down for lunch in the nearby canteen.

"Clara, she probably just remembered there was some last chance to buy handbag she needed to order online and then forgot she was missing the lecture. It's nothing." Gemma mumbled as she shovelled a spoonful of pasta into her mouth. Alice was picking intently at her caesar salad, jabbing at a crouton with her fork.

"I'm sure Gemma's right. Don't worry about it, Clara. If she's not here in a minute, we can go to her flat." She said earnestly whilst inspecting a questionable looking piece of chicken. It was like everything they were saying, noise alone, was just coiling Clara's guts up, tighter and tighter with each thoughtless rise and fall in their voices.

"Bloody hell, Alice! Are you going to actually eat that or not?" She snapped. The motion of Alice's fork flitting back and forth across her plate mirrored the furious vacillation taking place inside Clara's head. She looked agitatedly over her shoulder for Lilly, ignoring an alarmed and befuddled Alice who was fixing Clara with a wide-eyed stare. "God, where is she?"

"She's there, you freak." Gemma replied gruffly, pointing to the other end of the cafeteria. Clara whipped her head round to see Lilly stood poring over the selection of drinks, finally settling for a carton of orange juice before flouncing towards them and dropping it on the table.

"You'll never believe what happened with Jordan-" She said without any form of greeting. Her tone was solemn and both her hands were held up like an American high school princess as if to signify that what she was about to tell them was "major".

"Lilly." Alice interjected flatly, taking a lengthy gulp of her espresso. "Do you think we could have just one conversation that doesn't involve a dismal failure of the Bechdel test? I really don't want to hear anymore about this terrible affliction that you seem to have where you are unable to function without a man." She then turned her attention back to her food, not noticing Lilly's moistening eyes which were beginning to shimmer under the glare of the light above them. She opened her mouth then closed it again, her expression reminiscent of Clara's childhood pet goldfish.

"What's the Bechdel test?" She said faintly.

"The Bechdel test is where..." Alice began, her voice faltering as she glanced up and registered Lilly's despondency, abandoning her attempt to explain what she meant. "Oh God. What's wrong?" She asked, her tone taking on a revived urgency. But it was as if she knew before Lilly could answer. "Jordan knows, doesn't he? About you and Luca Stone." Lilly's only audible reply was a despairing bleat before she shoved her head into Gemma's shoulder, who gave her a cautious pat on the back and pushed her hair gently out of her face. For God's sake, Clara thought to herself, her commiserations battling with her irritation. She didn't mean to be thoughtless but time was only indurating the truth, making it all the harder for her to let slip to the others.

"How did he find out?" Gemma asked softly, tone full of maternal concern. "How much does he know?"

"He knows that I cheated on him. Knows I'm pregnant with a baby that isn't his. It was the Supplier. The fucking Supplier. Somehow, they stole my ultrasound photograph and gave it to Jordan, with a note and everything saying how the baby wasn't his. He's done with me, I swear. He said he was done. He absolutely hates me-"

"I'm sure he doesn't, Lilly-"

"No, he does." Lilly interrupted with anger incongruous to her character. "You didn't see the way that he looked at me. And you know, the worst thing is that it's my own fault. I'm the one that lied and did shitty things to people who loved me. I mean, he chose to trust me and I just fucked that up, like I fuck everything up. All the Supplier did was show him what I'm like. God, why am I so stupid?"

Gemma, Alice and Clara bartered dismayed glances, each silently coaxing the other into making the next move of support. "Jordan doesn't know that the baby is Luca's. He doesn't know anything about Luca, actually." They were so focused on Lilly and her every move that they didn't bother to identify the recipient of her misty stare, jumping slightly as she spoke again. "Oh God, no, now Luca's here. He must know."

"Lilly!" Luca was calling, striding doggedly across the canteen towards them. "Lil!"

"Oh, shit." Lilly rubbed wildly at the tears on her face, cutting her shudders short and tossing her hair back before progressing onto ruffling it up so that it fell just so. Completing the ritual, she turned round to face Luca, who was standing nervously at the edge of their table.

"Uh, Lil, do you mind if I talk to you for a sec?" He mumbled, Alice glaring at him out of the corner of her eye before channelling her attention back on her food.

"What about?" Lilly asked, picking up her orange juice and taking an overemphasised sip as she waited for his response.

"Well, it's kind of...uh, personal." He replied through gritted teeth. At this point, Alice put her fork down firmly on the table, grimacing as she addressed Luca unflinchingly.

"Can it wait?"

"No. Uh, definitely not." Luca said, Lilly swallowing loudly and swivelling off her chair.

"Okay, I'm coming." She said, following him towards the corner of the canteen, Alice staring after the pair of them in disbelief.

"Why does she trust him?" She said sharply, the moment both Lilly and Luca were out of earshot. "He's the human embodiment of Jaws and she's...dipping her toes in the water!" Gemma shrugged, then drew a finger to her lips with a shushing sound, the kind that would typically be emitted from Alice's mouth. With Alice scowling at her, she gestured to where Luca and Lilly now stood, both hunched over.

"Well, that's what Tess Rowe heard." Luca was saying, eyes sweeping the canteen.

"Tess is just pissed off at me and so is Jordan. It's a rumour, Luca, that's all it is."

"A rumour? Really?"

"Yeah. Honestly. I just...gained a bit of weight and Tess is being a twat about it. She probably thinks it's funny."

"Could you not have warned me? Texted me? I mean, Jesus Lil, I was coming out of a seminar when I overheard Tess telling Naomi Cookson that you're pregnant and that it's not Jordan's and-"

"Don't worry, babe. No child support bills for you just yet so you can crack open the champagne tonight, yeah?"

"No, Lil, I didn't mean it like that! I was just shocked and-"

"Bye, Luca." Lilly muttered, whipping her bleach blonde curls round as she turned away. Luca had to pull off an almost matrix-style swerve in order to avoid being slapped in the face by a lone ringlet. She marched back towards them, holding one arm with her other hand and running it up and down as if to keep herself warm, Gemma and Alice staring concernedly up at her. Clara, however, sensing the sole opportunity to make her own announcement arise, took a deep breath of air in through her nose and began to speak so as to get a head start on the next topic of conversation. Her telling the truth was not about to be drowned out by more of Lilly's wails.

"I have something to tell you all." She declared and then, after making sure she had all their attention, let her memories talk.