My hands are trembling.
I can't think of a word to say-
But I want to express
The emotions
You're forcing me to feel.
I used to think that I hated you.
You who opened up my heart
And forced me to feel again.
I was numbing myself to the world
When you came along
And melted my heart of stone.
You grabbed my hand
And showed me a better way to live.
I loved you so much and so hard
That I forgot how to hate myself.
You made everything more vibrant.
I swore that I could taste everything,
Especially that cherry Chapstick
That you always fucking wore
Despite the fact I hated cherries
Before you came along.
Then you cheated on me.
With my best friend.
My only friend.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Thinking of you hurts so damn much-
But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't.
I swear that as long as there is air
Filling my lungs,
I will remember you.
I will wonder where we went wrong.
And, I'll miss the picnics.
I'll miss the laughing at the wrong time.
I'll miss calling you late at night
And talking in whispers
Because our parents would kill us
If only they knew.
I'll miss the fireworks
Of when our lips met
And the electricity
Of when they moved together.
And I'll search for that electricity
In light sockets
And plug-ins.
As I jolt and my hair stands on end,
I will think of you.
And the way things used to be.
And I will wonder
When it all went wrong.
And I will wonder
If there was something
I could have done
To make it right again.
