See, I never was any good with words.
I'd sit at my desk with a pen in hand
and do my best.
But.
It was never good enough-
I always hated the way the letters
came together
and didn't, at all, portray
what I asked of them.
See, I never was any good at loving you.
I knew what you expected of me
and I couldn't do it.
I did my best
and it's not my fault it wasn't good enough.
Honestly,
I loved you the only way I knew how.
I loved you
the way that my family loved me-
not nearly enough.
I couldn't express it right
because it never was expressed
toward me.
See, I never was any good at saying goodbye.
I knew that that should have been it
the moment that I walked in on you
fucking my best friend.
I knew that I should have
just walked away
and never gave you a chance
to explain yourself.
I knew that I should have
stopped loving you
as you had obviously
stopped loving me.
But, I couldn't.
See, the way it works in my family
is that they get to break you beyond repair-
they get to ruin everything
you built up for yourself
and then continue as though
nothing happened.
I thought that that was the way
it worked in the real world, too.
So,
I can't say goodbye to you.
Because,
that is how we love.
We stick around even when we shouldn't.
