Sweet Little Lies

Ch. 23 The Choice

    I'm torn between what I want and what I need. I want to work at a big company and what I need is Ajax. I can't see myself walking away from him, even if he is willing to wait. I couldn't do that to him, the more I think about it the more cruel it seems to keep him on a string. I called Remmy last night and told him I wont be taking the job. It might not be a glamorous work environment or very challenging, but its the life I've known I was coming back to. On the drive to The West End I feel lighter than I've felt in a long time. I think even though I came back home, I've been standing just inside the door. I haven't really embraced it, and the truth is I used to have a lot of fun here and my heart has never left this place.
I park my car close to the barn, its still early so I know Ajax hasn't ridden out yet. I find him in the barn office asleep at the desk, wearing the exact same clothes as yesterday. I knock softly and he opens his eyes slowly, waking up. "Hey." I smile, walking into the room and closing the door. "Did you sleep here?"
"Yeah, I'm keeping watch on, Bella. She'll be in labor any day now. I didn't want to bother the boys with it." He explains, rubbing his cheeks with his hands, the sound making me think of rough sandpaper.
"I'm staying." I tell him.
He looks stunned. "Are you sure thats what you want?" He questions, not moving a muscle.
I nod. "I want you. I don't want to leave. The more I thought about leaving, the more I felt sick about it. It didn't feel right." I tell him honestly.
I move to be closer to him and he rests his head against my stomach. I run my fingers through his hair. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have given it any thought." I say, hating that I made him worry.
"Yes, you should've. I don't want you here wishing you were somewhere else. I understand why you were tempted. I cant imagine working in a job I hated."
"I don't hate this job." I tell him, pulling his chin up to look at me. "I don't." I say, again. "I'll admit, there is a certain element of excitement at the thought of running a department, myself. But I'm doing that here. I'm pretty much your boss." I state, teasingly.
"If I have to have a boss, I'm glad its you. You're way hotter than the last one." He smirks. "Plus, I love the benefits." He says, pulling at the button on my black slacks.
I scoff, "You're father is a total babe. You know you're a carbon copy of him. Its a shame your mom gets the original." I tease.
"Don't ever say that again." He grumbles, burying his face in the fabric of my shirt. I laugh, knowing I'm making the right choice. "Are you still sore?" He asks.
I shake my head. "No, I'm fine." I reply, as he moves me toward the desk.
A quick knock on the door and it opens to reveal Dan. It takes him less than a second to take in what it happening and he quickly closes the door again. "That is an office, not a bedroom. You both need to learn when and where that shit is supposed to take place." He complains, loudly through the door. Making me feel embarrassed while Ajax just laughs. I push him back and tuck my shirt back in my pants.
"I better get to work. Do you think your mom will talk to me know?" I question, nervously.
"Depends." He answers.
"On what?"
"What we tell her." He responds, opening the office door. Confused I follow him as we walk through and the barn. "How badly to do want my mother to like you?"
I think about it until we get to the back porch. "Pretty bad. I love her cooking and I haven't had breakfast." I answer, turning to him.
"Then we'll tell her you're staying." He says, simply.
I shrug, I give him my duh-look. "Thats what I was planning on doing."
He starts to bend down, then I realize he's getting down on one knee. Surprised I jump when he reaches for my hand. "What are you doing?" I ask, stunned.
"Will you marry me, Harp?" He asks, taking an worn black velvet case out of his flannel shirt pocket.
I feel my like heart is stuck in my throat. "I don't want to get married right away. I want a long engagement." I tell him, quickly. Not wanting anything to do with discount suppliers.
He laughs, knowing exactly why I want to wait it out. "I'm okay with that." He agrees, taking the ring out. He slides it onto my finger. Its beautiful. "I bought this four years ago. I've looked at it a million times, imagining what it'd look like on your hand. I never thought about how it'd feel exactly, but it feels damn good. You're mine. Finally." He stands up kissing me with so much heat, I forget where we are and start to unbutton his shirt.
"Get your asses inside!" Dan yells, from far away.
Ajax waves at him happily, then pulls me inside. We see his Ma at the stove cooking and Mr. West at the table watching her. I know the exact look he's giving his wife, because its the same one Ajax gives me. "Good morning." Ajax says, as we walk to the table. "Morning, you two." Mr. West greets. Mrs. West doesn't turn to us, but continues cooking.
"Thats a nice ring you're wearing, Harper." Mr. West notices, smiling knowingly.
"Thanks, I just got engaged." I tell him winking.
I hear a loud clang and gasp, before I see Mrs. West coming towards us. The tears in her eyes are unmistakable, She pulls Ajax's head to her chest, kissing his head and telling him how much she loves him. "My baby is getting married!" She says, excitedly. She turns to me giving me the same treatment. "I'll call your mom." She states, suddenly. As she hurries to the phone Mr. West stops her.
"I think, love. That she'd want to hear it from Ajax and Harper."
"Of course." She replies, still practically jumping where she's supposed to be standing.
"Can we go after breakfast?" I ask.
Her eyes narrow on me. "No, you can't do that to me. Go, now! So I can call her." We laugh and stand up.
"We better get on with it." Ajax, mutters.