My Relationships

My Advice

I've essentially learned a lot of stuff going through all this, though I'm not an expert at love, because I haven't really experienced a fully physical relationship.

Even if you feel like you've lost someone great, I can assure you, someone else will be there and make you feel even more greater. I know some probably wouldn't want that, and wouldn't ever believe that. But, please give it time and don't rush. It'll be okay. You will find someone someday. Someday.

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Advice: A Like

If you really like someone or want to be with them, make sure you really know the person and talk often. If you barely talk at all, you shouldn't date in the first place. Don't get with someone who just got broken up or broke up with someone else.

If you're rejected, you have to accept the reality, that they like someone else, don't see you that way, or it could be complicated. There's many other reasons. Try not to stress a lot about it, find your closure and possibly just move on.

If they are currently dating someone else, you should not wait for them and their partner to break up, because the worst thing you could do is wait, and they never break up, basically, you wasted your time.. or wait then get with them after they have been broken up?.. Best thing to do in that situation is support them and their relationship. Consider their feelings. I know it's hard to like someone if they're in a relationship, but move on.

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Advice: Breakup

If you've been dumped, consider the reasons as to why that happened, or what you can do to change. Sometimes you can't change the person's mind if it's already been set in stone, and you have to accept that. Don't be clingy and ask for forgiveness, it can be considered annoying and push the other person away even more. If their mind is set, you have to move on, do everything you can to get over them, but don't force yourself. It takes time to move on. You'll find another person that'll be able to change you and be happy. If the breakup really affects you, please don't talk to them, you're hurting yourself by talking more. But, it's really want you want most. Getting over it slowly, or forcing yourself. Whatever suits you best. You'll heal.

If you decided to break up with someone but they want to get back, consider the reasons as to why and what they could do to make it up, and change. Sometimes you can't change someone who keeps doing wrong things. Keep in mind what will happen if you do get back together. Will it stay the same or do you believe there will be a change?

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Mental Abuse, Relationship or not

Guilt. If you ever feel guilty at any point for a thing you didn't do, and felt like everything was your fault, (blaming you), it isn't worth to go back with someone like that. Either from a breakup or in a relationship, never pull the guilt card, and never fall for them pulling it on you. Do not let them emotionally control you for their wrongs.

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that one uses to control someone to get what they want and mentally hurting someone over time, shifting blame and believe they themselves aren't at fault. Which makes someone question their own memory, and sanity. Meaning, if you think someone is treating you unfair, and it makes you question yourself,  you'll try to bring that up to them but they claim that you are overreacting then denies your feelings. They try making you feel responsible for their horrible actions. Putting on an act, acting sad/mad in order to make you feel bad about yourself and apologizing instead in their favor. Please if this happens to you, get help from others, reach or seek out, and also do anything to close them out, and leave the relationship quickly. It isn't healthy or good in any way possible. Help others who may be experiencing this! This applies to being in a relationship or not.

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Onto the next topic;

If you're in a relationship then good!
Staying with that person is another thing entirely.

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Advice: Relationships

It's important to trust each other! You should talk to each other, and just know little about each other even just small details you've never told anyone. Getting to know one small detail is good enough. Tell them everything they need to know! Do not hide secrets from them and lie about it. Be honest!

You have to be yourself in a relationship. If you just fake it, you'll never be able to be happy with yourself, and the person you're with will just like the fake side entirely. If you be yourself, and they don't accept you, then you must leave, that isn't the relationship for you. But if they love you for who you are, then that's the best feeling, that means they accept you.

Communicate! It's very important to communicate in your relationship. Don't hide yourself because you'll just lose trust. Tell your loved one how you're feeling, and what's happening. Open up and be comfortable with them. Be straightforward. If there's something you dislike it's okay to say something about it. They'll be more aware of your feelings.

Space. Everyone has their limits, know your partner and be free with each other. Spend time together, spend time with others, and spend time separately. It may be hard to figure those times out, but eventually you find a middle ground. It's okay to ask for time together and it's okay to ask for time to yourself, reassure your spaces together and what you want or don't want. Realize for yourself if you might be breaking their space, or your partner is breaking your space, talk it out. Space. is. Important.

Cheating is the worst thing you could do in a relationship, basically you've lost all trust in your lover, or in you. It's common sense to know cheating is bad. One time is enough to break it off, but a second time is a no-go. It's rare that you yourself can change a person from cheating. If you really want to be with someone, make it only that person, make sure you don't have any lingering feelings for anyone else, until then don't date or just give only your feelings to your partner, it's important for you and your partner to know that.

Jealously is another thing that can bring constant arguments. Make sure to reassure each other that you won't be with anyone else but your partner. Strengthen your trust. Try not to avoid each other, and assume a lot of things that mostly aren't true. Tell them how you feel. If they don't even reassure that, and tell you you're too insecure, that's a really big no. Please, reassure and trust each other, and don't worry about it too much! Make sure you do the same if they feel that way! No constant reassurance too, that can get tiring. Build that trust and love for each other!

Make sure to think about your actions, their actions, and think about what you say to them, what they say to you, and consider each others feelings, you are dating for a reason, yes? Because you love each other, and you both feel that warmth. You should support each other and enjoy each other.

Be comfortable with your relationship.

If you have your bond, trust, and you both love each other for who you are, then that is the best thing. All I say is good-luck!

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Someday you'll find someone you can be happy with and will accept you for who you are, for everything that you are, no matter what you think of yourself.

Make memories and enjoy what's happening. Make your memories valuable and live in those treasured moments. Be happy with them.

I will continue to update this for the future. Hence why my recent previous chapters have lower views. But for now I will leave this story incomplete.

Please, do not be discouraged if you're alone, get back up on your feet, get stronger, heal and I'm sure you'll find someone perfect for you and for them.

Note from Amelia, 1/21/18
+Note edit 7/21/2020