Dear Love

Dear Ruby

I'm... speechless. 

You always had a way of leaving me speechless, stupefying me - usually with your unconventional methods as our leader. Or perhaps it was your childish outbursts about cookies. Or perhaps it was something I can't place my finger on, the sheer capacity you had to be stupidly funny and make me smile when I didn't want to, leaving me with nothing to say. 

But, this. This simply must be a new Ruby Rose I am not yet acquainted with, or perhaps it's a Ruby Rose that I'm seeing for the first time but has always been there not because she didn't exist or want to come out, but because I never looked closely enough to notice her. Or perhaps the world and its darker things are forcing her out of the normally jubilant little girl I once knew. That letter certainly wasn't from her, it resembled something I might have received from Winter. It was marveling, and vulnerable, and something... I think... finally, I can help you with. 

I'm not here to write a critique on your last letter, even if I thought it was... written amazingly well. 

Ruby - you have the right idea, you have a brilliant head on your shoulders, perhaps one - and this pains me to say - that is a lot smarter than my own. I know what you're going to do - protest, swear up and down at how hard I study, how determined I am to improve myself as a Huntress, how devoted I was to being the perfect student, but... you see, that isn't everything. I may have all that, blindly so, because I could never have fathomed in my own thoughts what you know, and I could never show the same emotional... responsibility you have for your own feelings, or even for mine. 

Please be warned to not take lightly what I am about to disclose to you. It's something that has never been disclosed to anyone before - it has been kept inside me for as long as I can remember. Winter has studied my eyes many times and never noticed. No one ever does, and it's this, what's inside me, that I think could help you comprehend and cope with your own feelings you are experiencing right this very moment. 

You mentioned you're terrified of being alone. You shudder at the thought of never being able to see your family or friends ever again. You're afraid of the things the world is throwing at you, you're scared that things will never get better. You're petrified of isolation, and... feeling lonely. You're terrorized by the feeling of loneliness, creeping in, despite your constancy with Jaune, Nora and Ren and now Qrow. And... no one knows you feel this way, and I'm willing to bet even a part of yourself doesn't want to acknowledge it. I'm willing to bet, you're trying to shut it out and push forward, not fully understanding it, acting as though everything is fine, and well put together. But the more you act that way, the more torn apart you feel inside - the more you're feeling you're falling apart. The more you feel no one understands, the more alone you actually feel. 

If I'm correct in any of this, and I really hope I'm not - well, let's just hope I'm not, okay. 

For the longest time, for as long as I can remember I have felt that way too. No one knows, no one cares to know or look any deeper than the surface, and that's just how I like it. No one to keep around and bother me, no one to keep around and drag me down, no more disapproval and negativity - after all, I can't be hurt if I'm alone. So I must be alone. Loneliness is a feeling that affects you only if you allow it in, loneliness is a feeling that clings to you when it sees an opening and will not leave if it can manage to stay. I suggest you spend more time with your friends and your Uncle, and stop writing letters to me if that's the case. I fear, actually, I may be the thing that you want to be isolated from. 

Please don't let the safest place for you become isolation. Please don't let the solution to your problems become being on your own. 

Because no one cared to look any deeper than the surface with me, and that was just how I liked it - and then there was you. That's what - above all the rest - annoyed me the most about you Ruby - you cared. You cared too much to become my friend. You cared too much to look past the surface. You cared too much to work together with me as if breaking down my walls was your project and you showed up with a bulldozer. You cared to peer in, with your stupid, dumb eyes like telescopes and see... whatever it was you saw in me. You annoyed me, you frustrated me, you angered me to no end, and have reinvented me into a new person because you cared too much and eventually became my friend. 

I feel you are indispensable too, even if I don't say it enough. (I know I don't, dolt, you don't have to say it). 

Well, that really wasn't helpful at all, was it? Perhaps when we finally see each other again, I can... attempt something else that may help. The way you're making it sound, my presence would just be enough to get you over those feelings - which is just plain ridiculous, in my opinion. 

I'm amazed by you Ruby. Simply because I am. You read me like a book when I'm an encryption to everyone else. 

You... understand me. Something no one has ever done before. Perhaps, I'm not so alone after all. And perhaps the mirror, I've been looking into preparing myself for all my life situations wasn't the right one to be looking into. If we truly are, in your view of things, the perfect pair of friends - then perhaps I am your counsel, your guidance to growing up and dealing with difficulties. And perhaps you, Ruby, were my mirror all along, reflecting back unto me the... missing value, I told you I still yearn for. 

Repeat this to anyone, Rose, and I'll kill you. Understand? 

Enclosed you will find a recent picture of me. I don't know why you asked for it, but I simply can't have you forgetting me, after all - that would be totally, and completely unacceptable. 

Write again soon, stay focused. And Ruby? Thank you. For everything. 

Love, 

Weiss.