helpless (lams oneshots)

gsa (important a/n at the beginning)

yo i love how fics portray john as this cute lil sunshine bean and in reality this bitch was fucking insane like oh my god if you want to hear my rant on john laurens and his life it's in my spam book the chapter is titled "john motherfucking laurens" it's worth checking out if you like him. also trans! john.

there are many different experiences trans people go through and one person may not have the same life as the other. it may be an instant realization or it could take years to understand who you are. this is based off of someone who i am very close with, he has told me his experience in discovering who he is over the years. also, some things may not be accurate. i have never had to undergo top surgery nor do i know the expenses or process. i will be going off of what the internet tells me.

tw for transphobia/homophobia, stay safe loves ♡ also yeah i made john and alex the same age sue me

John had grown up, constantly hearing the name Joanne being used around her. She would hear it from her mother, her father, her sisters and brothers. It never sounded right to her, so in her head she called herself John. It just seemed right to her.

When she turned seven, she told her mom how she felt. She explained that she didn't feel her name fit her and liked the name John better. Her mom took her hands and asked if she would like to be called he.

John sat and pondered a second, her heart felt warm at the change. It felt right. He nodded and asked his mother to call him her son, and his mother was more than happy to do that for him. He loved his mother, she was always supportive of everything he did.

This completely contradicted his father's beliefs. Eleanor had told Henry the night after John's seventh birthday party. Henry was, for a lack of better words, pissed. He didn't believe it and pointed out most girls go through a tomboy phase, it's nothing to get worked up about. John sat outside the door to his parents' bedroom. He knew he wasn't a tomboy- he knew he was a boy. He had always been a boy, his mother had just helped him understand that.

No matter how many times John had begged his father for understanding, his father would scoff and remimd John that he raised a daughter, not a son.

Eleanor was always there for her son and while John was in high school, she suggested he join the GSA club. He was hesitant, of course, out of fear that his father would find out. Eleanor promised he wouldn't and so John showed up one day.

"Hello! Guys look, someome new is here!" Came a voice from across the room. John shifted awkwardly and waved, "Someone go get Mr. Washington!" Shouted another.

Out came a tall man, a baseball cap rested on top of his head. He looked threatning and John felt a sinking feeling in his stomach that this wasn't a good idea. The voice that came out was not what John was expecting, "Hello, Son." He said calmly, polietly. He extended a hand and John shook it, a small smile tugging at his lips, "What's your name?"

"I'm John." He introduced himself quietly, "This is GSA, right?" He asked. He nodded, "Are you here to join?" John nodded, "Have a seat, I'll have Aaron introduce you." He said, walking to a desk. A man, tall and somewhat lanky, walked up to John and extended a hand, a toothy grin plastered on his face.

"Aaron Burr, you are?" Aaron asked as John shook his hand, "I'm John.. John Laurens." Aaron turned toward the group that sat in the chairs, "Everyone, this is John."

A chorus of, "Hi, John." echoed around the group. Aaron motioned for him to sit and then took his own seat, "Okay, everyone start off by saying name, pronouns, sexuality- if comfortable- and age. We'll start off with Sam."