10/04/16

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10 April 2016

Dear Rose,

It's been nearly two week since I've written to you. I think you'll be proud of me once I tell you what I've done.

I'm in contact with the boys again. We hung out and I apologised to all of them for being a selfish dick. They accepted my apology and I guess we are in good terms now. They asked how I was doing and for once, I told them the truth. They told me I should start writing again. They told me I could express my emotions through writing. Maybe I should write again. What do you think?

I told them about my memory problems. They think it might be because of you dying, in a way I guess it's true. It started once you died. I didn't tell them about the face I keep seeing. It's getting worse now. Sometimes I hear him in my brain, repeating my name over and over again.

Will helped me find your diary. Remember you told me that if you died, I could read it all? You said it as a joke but it truly happened. I haven't opened it yet. I'm not sure why. The front cover makes me laugh. You spent hours, importing pictures of us onto your laptop and printing every single one. Then you cut them out and stuck them onto the page. With your beautiful writing you wrote, 'D & R Forever'. It hurts like hell to be torn apart from you.

Forever doesn't last. We learnt that the hard way.

I feel like an antelope. I don't know if I should wait for the lion to come eat me or run away knowing that the lion will chase me. This is life. Should I wait for life to get better or run away from my problems. Either way I'm going to suffer. Run away in my terms as dying.

Maybe I should join you to oblivion?

Love Dan x

~~~
I hate being ill

Anyone has plans for valentine?

Lol nope, I'm going to watch a sad movie while eating chocolate on my own

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 24, 2018 ⏰

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