Aries: Are you done yet? Shhhh.... Shhh... Shut the f*ck up. No one cares about what you're so awkwardly passionate about and it's killing my vibe. Just go get F*cked already.
Taurus: Oh look. You're doing that thing, the same thing you've been doing for half a century. Cool. It's like your insides are made out of sad old people. WTF
Gemini: This sign hates to be hated on but you f*cks make it so easy to cause all you do is cry about how much fun you want to have while simultaneously wanting to be taken seriously.... you're a child. Get over yourself.
Cancer: You're basically a f*cking egg. Oh look at that smooth hard little shell, so tough! No. Not really cause that shit is so thin and holy f*cking shit your insides are a god forsaken mess. Just.. just leave
Leo: If i talk about this sign for too long (which you'd love) my eyes might never roll back into place. Is anything your fault? Plot twist all of it is. Oh don't hide now I thought you liked the spotlight??????
Virgo: Go dust your own damn house and get your nose out of everyone else's shit. You're a mess just like the rest of us, but all your problems start when you think you're good at helping. So basically when you wake up go back to sleep.
Libra: Everything is fine and dandy as long as everything's your way. Scales my ass you selfish moron. People change and flowers die, nothing is pretty forever, and you're a f*cking brat for not getting with it.
Scorpio: Oh for f*cks sake you cannot demand to know everything about someone without at least expecting them wanting something in return. That's how humans work, you'd know that if you were one but you're just a f*cking leech.
Sagittarius: You know what you remind me of? A fly. Speeding off in a different direction every 5 seconds. You're not an adventurer you're a coward. Either running from a problem you caused or from the fear of causing one. Good job ass wipe.
Capricorn: You literally symbolize death in Tarot with makes sense cause you kill everything you touch. Romance, happiness, you make it, you f*cking ruin it. All in the name of being "productive". Maybe if you let someone help you everything you do wouldn't suck. You'd probably end up killing them too though so best not.
Aquarius: uuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhh what is your endgame anyway? What's your f*cking point aside from pissing people off with your impossible standards. If you're so f*cking great then do it your goddamn self instead of leaving it up to someone else just so you can yell at them. You're a dick bag.
Pisces: WAKE UP YOU FLAKY SALTINE CRACKER. Do you even own a cell phone or were you too busy imagining what it'd be like to hang out to actually hang out. You're so damn boring. No wonder you nap all the time, if i had you in my head i'd get some f*cking sleep too.
A/N: lmao this cracked me up. I just found this on the internet and then I though hey what's better than putting this in my book and get some hate comments? Oh yeah and I'M FINALLY 13 HAPPY LATE BDAY TO ME (it was yesterday) Anyways have a great day!
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The Zodiac Signs
RandomThis little book is just basically about the Zodiac signs and how they react to stuff, most to least likely to do something, or just plain random stuff. Some of these are from tumblr, Instagram, etc and some are my own work. Anyways Enjoy!
