Confessions of a teenage bystander.

Chapter 11.

I had to read it. I had to know what it was. Even if it meant i regretted it. I couldn’t date him knowing there was a secret between us. And it must be something completely huge for him not to come right out and tell me. I was edgy. My hands started trembling slightly and my skin began heating up. In a sudden build-up of suspension the folded piece of paper fell out of my hand and onto the floor. Out fell a photo of a couple together.

It was Chris holding a girl. It looked like it was recent. My heart fluttered at the sight of it. Different meanings ran through my mind. The main thought made me feel nauseous. Maybe he already had a girlfriend. I snatched the photo and note up and stared at the photo. They looked pretty cosy. His lips touched her cheek and she smiled like a love struck girl who was being kissed by her boyfriend. They looked happy together. My heart sunk. Then i remembered the note. My eyes rapidly embraced the words. It was a newspaper article.

Annie lexton died in a drunken car accident on the 19 of November 2008. She was placed in the passenger seat in the time of the incident. Along with her brother who was intoxicated at the time of the accident who was not harmed. Neither her long-time boyfriend Chris with his brother Jason who walked away with minor injuries.

The driver Jordan also seemed unharmed only mentally traumatized by the loss of his younger sister. A life unexpectedly taken. Annie was a loving daughter, well behaved student and well loved by family, friends and Chris. The two had been together for over three years and were madly in love. A terrible tragedy mourned by all who ever knew her.

 

My eyes read over and over again. Comprehending what I was reading. This girl. Annie. Died in a car accident only three months ago. No. Wait. Chris was. He and her. And then she. Oh god. That’s horrible. I can’t believe something like that happened. And he was in the same car along with Jason. Her own brother caused her death. I felt sad for him. I wouldn’t be able to bare living with that. If I knew I had caused my sibling to die. I would be completely torn.

Then I thought about Jason. He was in the car. Then Chris he was also in the car when she died. Tears formed in my eyes and rolled down my flustered cheek. What was I going to do now? Should I see him? I think I should. We need to talk about this. I just don’t want to upset him. I stood up quickly. But then no movement. I couldn’t step forward.

What would I say? I sat back down thinking over if this was the right thing. I felt awkward. Not knowing how to approach the situation. I ended up walking without over thinking. If I thought anymore about it then I wouldn’t be able to go. I had to. It’s not like I could ignore it.

It happened, I read about it! Now I have to face it. I need to be there for him. That’s if he wants me anymore. Even if he doesn’t like me like that anymore then he needs to know I will be here to talk to him. No matter what. I stepped up to the plain white door and knocked firm and loud. As I waited my breathing became ragged.

My mind filled with anxiety while my eyes streamed with more tears. I fought with them. I didn’t know exactly why I felt this way or what made me act like this but it had to be sorted out. I had no idea what I was doing! I just went with it. I let out a large sigh. Suddenly the door opened and I stepped in without looking up.

I couldn’t bare to look up but somehow I managed to get a quick glance. There was no emotion on his face. It was like he was frozen still. He just stared at me. Waiting for me to begin talking. I tried but I ended up mumbling a whisper.

“I-I-I....” I repeated. I should just come right out and say what I think.

“I d-don’t know” I stuttered. He lifted my head up with his hand. With the other he simply pressed it upon my hot cheek. I stared at him in amazement. He was so calm.

“I’m sorry” I finally said. Ubruptedly he pulled me closely and held me tight. I was a blubbering mess. And somehow I didn’t mind letting go. We sat and talked in the lounge room. Huddled closely together. We understood each other.

How we both were hurt badly and how this was different. The tension and awkwardness lifted and we became very talkative. He understood how hurt I was by him and Rachel. He turned very angry when we came to that part. He couldn’t believe she stooped so low. I had to calm his furious rage towards them. It made me happy to know he cared.

I actually hadn’t bothered telling anyone. Nobody I told would believe me and I wouldn’t trust them anyway. It made no difference now. I know it, Rick knows it, and Rachel knows it and now Chris know exactly what happened. That’s all that mattered. I felt relieved. Like a burden had been lifted. Nothing could stop us. Nothing!

Well there was something and that something just happened to walk in. At the same moment I leaned in to set my lips upon Chris’s plump red lips. Jason! You know I was starting to think he wasn’t very good with timing his intrusions. Immediately I leaned back. Further then I was before. I blushed and stared at him.

Chris looked over his shoulder aggravated by him. I saw Jason scurry off in haste with a fierce look. God he annoyed me so much. I wasn’t normally an angry person but he could make me so pissed by the slightest move. Or make me completely forget everything. I turned back to Chris who was eager to return to our previous actions. He leant down and kissed me long and hard. I was lost in despair. I forgot about my parents. They would be freaking out.

I jumped up and hurried off. Not before experiencing a brief warm hug of goodbye. As I practically ran inside I found myself standing in front of two glaring overprotective frightening parents. I skidded to a halt and immediately played an apologetic look on my face. They stared down at me in amazement.

“Honey what happened?” My mother shrieked. What was she talking about? Oh yeah the scratch.

“Oh its nothing....I just....fell while I was walking. Yeah when I got back I decided to go for a walk and I tripped and hit my face.” I explained my lie that seemed extremely believable.

“Well then please be more careful next time. It could end up being a serious injury. Now go get cleaned up. We need to be next door by six o’clock.” She cheered. I stared at her dumbfounded. Why god? Why do you hate me so much? I mocked. Just think a whole night with me and Chris. I gushed at the thought of him. He was great. But then I remembered. It would me and him, with my parents and his parents and Jason. Gah. I grumbled up stairs to get ready for what seemed would be a long night.