Confessions of a teenage bystander.

Chapter 10.

With all eyes on me I felt somewhat relaxed. I locked up my car which only confirmed it was mine as it beeped and flashed. I skipped down the hall to my locker. I felt like everyone around me was frozen. They weren’t doing anything or making much sound. I turned and laughed then they resumed back to normal state. Out of nowhere Rachel and her gang of claw digging followers appeared in front of me.

“Eww its Ella” She scoffed. The girls snickered childishly.

“Oh you talk. Sorry for a second there I thought you were a mannequin. You know with the plastic and all. GOD you’re so fake! You’re practically made from China!” I laughed and pushed past the evil glares. As I left she muttered something. I just ignored it. Whatever it was. Although coming from her it wouldn’t be that important to me.

I sat down in the new class. I had photography as my art option. There were a few people spread around and I chose a seat in the far back. Although it was any easy subject I took it very seriously. Kind of! As I was lost in my thoughts I was brought back with the sight of Eric walking in. I sat up straight.

This didn’t seem like anything he would be interested in. He scanned the room and smiled as he made his way over in my direction. What was he doing? I watched his every step. Carefully waiting for him to turn. But at last he sat down in the seat next to me. I turned to see him smiled sheepishly at me. I edged away in my seat.

“Hey” He spoke lightly.

“Uh hi” I smiled. It went awkwardly quiet for a minute.

“So photography aye. I never thought I would see you in here” I chuckled.

“Uh yeah well over the last year I got really into it actually! Oh by the way NICE CAR!” He laughed. The tension started to ease.

“Yeah I know. Do I have taste or what?” I joked.

“Very good actually!” He beamed as the teacher stepped in. We had to partner up and go out and search for things that amaze us. And when we found it we had to take a picture! We had two hours to do it. I partnered up with Eric and we started searching the bare school. As we snapped the photos we caught up in all the new gossip.

I found out that Sara and Nicole, Eric’s cousins were coming to visit. We all became great friends when they visited. And that Alex his twin sister missed me. I missed them all. We were all like family. Well they said I was their family. I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve seen them. He invited me to his house as a surprise for them. I was ecstatic.

“I can’t wait to see them!” I shrieked. He laughed at me. He suggested taking some pictures of my car. We had gotten hardly anything interesting around here so I agreed. Seeing the car again pumped me with joy. I squealed as I jumped in. I was ready to drive off but Eric reminded me that we still had school.

I reluctantly slipped out. After we got enough photos we headed back to class as it was being dismissed. We reasoned with the teacher and he let us off with a warning. We were just outside when I felt a hand on my arm that pulled me from Eric.

“What do you think you are doing with this loser?” Rachel shouted furiously at Eric standing right in his face. I stepped up to her and turned her around. I glared at her. Our faces were inches apart as we both fumed. I heard people forming around us. I was also aware that Chris was right behind me. He whispered in my ear. I didn’t look away.

“Come on. Let’s go!” He whispered. I didn’t respond in any way. After a few more seconds of heated anger she started grumbling.

“Who do you think you are?” She asked.

“I know who I am! DO YOU?” I spat back.

“Everyone knows who I am!” She scoffed.

“But nobody cares!” I smiled. Her hand swung and collided with my cheek. I held my cheek. I couldn’t believe she went that far. She’s never hit me before. I stared at her in shock. Along with the rest of the students surrounding us. I smiled. She was weak! I swung my arm back and punched her with more force. She fell down but got back up again.

Eric gripped her arms at the same time Chris caught me in his tight hold. We both struggled to get free but were unsuccessful. Chris dragged me away kicking and struggling. He brought me outside into the school parking lot. He held me for a few minutes before letting me go and cautioning my actions.

Instead of running back in there and trying to find her I let out a loud deafening scream. She made me so angry. Chris hushed me and told me to go for a drive. I did and he got in the passenger seat. I started driving aimlessly in the direction of home but I knew I couldn’t stand to be home just yet.

“Oh god, you’re bleeding!” He said frantically. What? Where? I looked at my body. I seemed fine. I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed a small scratch slanting on my cheek dripping with blood.

“Fuck.” I growled. And started driving faster to home.

“Come over to my place.” He offered. I wasn’t ready to face my parents. So I nodded. We entered his place and it was very familiar. I had been in here before but not for a while. He led me up to his room. As he stopped at a door in the hall way I was more than aware where exactly I was going.

As he opened the door I ran downstairs and out the front door. I crumbled onto the grass and heaved in air as I struggled to breathe through my tears. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to go back there.

I scrambled together on the damp grass as Chris made his way frantically to my side. He pulled me up. Cradling me in his comforting arms. I sobbed into his chest as he hushed me. I can’t believe this still has an effect to me after two whole years.

I’m still not over him and what he did to me. I guess I have some explaining to do. After a while I hopped back into my car and Chris sat in the passenger’s seat. He waited patiently for an explanation. After I calmed down I was ready to talk.

“Ah a few years ago. Well two actually. I was dating this guy Rick, me and him were well pretty close. We had been dating for three years and everything seemed great. He was really nice and adored me. He used to live in your house. In the same room as you.” I looked down. It was easy for me to talk about yet I couldn’t go back up there.

“Well one day I came home from school. I was going over to tell him I was ready. You know ready to go all the way. I hadn’t yet and I believed he loved me enough to deserve it. So I walked over and the front door was open. Normally I would just go straight up to his room. And I did. As I opened the door I quickly realised he wasn’t alone. I saw him under the cover with some bimbo. He saw me and tried to get over to me but I turned and walked out. Before I left I noticed the girl. It was Rachel and she didn’t have any regret on her face” I looked over to him. He was in shock.

“I thought she was my friend. And I thought he loved me. I trusted her completely. Nothing ever split us. But that was too far. Too low for anyone. I never saw him again. I got my father to place a restraining order on him and they moved away. That was the last I saw of him and I never want to again. That’s basically when I was disowned from the ‘IT’ group. I couldn’t stand being around her and so I just left. So everyone loved her and hated me.” I smiled. I’m glad I got to see the real her sooner rather than later. He still sat there. His hands were trembling and his head shook with anger.

“I’m sorry” He simply said and retreated into his house. I stared after him in disbelief. I just told someone one of my deepest secret and he just runs away. I sat there staring out of the windscreen. I didn’t expect that to happen. I laughed softly.

I trust people too easy. I think I know them and it turns out that they are something completely different. As I stepped out Chris returned with a folded piece of paper in his hand. He paced his way until he was standing directly in front of me. I stared at the paper as he handed it to me.

“I’m sorry that it happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. You deserve better. Since you told me that I think that you should know this.”

I took the folded piece of paper as he left back into his house. Shutting the door behind him. I raced up into my room and collapsed on my bed. I sat there crossed legged staring at the paper in my hand. Did I really want to know? What if it changed the way I felt about him! I didn’t want that to happen.

But if it was something bad then maybe I should know before I fall for him and he ends up breaking my heart like before! Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn’t. I think I have the right to know but I don’t know if I want to know. Once I read it I can never go back. What should I do? I sat there pondering over my options. I made my decision.