the right moment (Sea Breeze: The Next Generation #6)

Chapter 42

Chapter forty-two

Reagan

Two weeks had gone by since Daisy and I had started seeing each other. We'd started alternating nights at each other's apartments, and had gotten to where on our days off we'd spend them holed up in bed somewhere. I hadn't known real sex until I'd had it with her. The stuff I'd been doing before had been cheap and dirty. I'd known that, but I hadn't known how dirty until I'd been inside of her. Her pussy was like my own piece of paradise that I hadn't known I was missing all this time. It tasted and felt fucking phenomenal.

Mine and her relationship was still our little secret. When it came to her brother, we just pushed it off. We were too busy wrapped up in our own little world to care about anything else. But there seemed to be times that when I would stay up to watch her sleep that I'd wish I could take her out on a date. I wished that I could buy her things. I wished that I could show up at her work randomly with a bouquet of flowers. I've never wanted to do that for any woman but Daisy. I wanted her to have the world and everything in it. She deserved that, and there were sometimes that I hated myself for not giving it to her.

"I don't need all of that. I just need you," she said as she laid next to me in bed. This time we were in her apartment. I'd come over last night after I'd gotten off of work and had brought her pleasure several times before we'd finally fallen asleep.

"I know you don't need it, but I want you to have it." She smiled and I saw the balls of emotion well up in her baby blues. I held her close and she laid her head down on my chest.

"Why does your heart sound like that?" She asked in a small voice. The question confused me, but it also had me curious.

"Sound like what?"

"When I listen to your heartbeat it sounds funny. It sounds damaged. Like something happened to you when you were younger." I froze. No one had ever pointed that out before. I knew that my heart had been broken a long time ago by the one woman that I had ever really loved and it had been my mother. I had just buried all of those emotions deep down to where I didn't know where they were. I hadn't wanted to know where they were. I had just wanted to be free of it.

I think that's why I've never fully allowed myself to fall in love with a woman. No, I've known that's why. If all women were like her, they made false promises and left you to fight your own monsters when you weren't capable of doing it yourself, then I didn't want to love one. I didn't want to be left with nothing. It was the reason I'd started fucking girls at fourteen. To prove to myself, that if I had real love, it would only let me down, and if my own mother didn't love me then how could anyone else?

Daisy sat up and looked at me with cautious eyes. She was waiting on me to answer her, but I didn't know if I could. I didn't know if I was ready to cut that wound back open.

"I don't know," I told her. She smiled at me right then. That smile. That smile was enough to move mountains and part oceans. That smile was what helped me get up everyday. That smile was a lovely combination of deadly and beautiful. That smile was one of my favorite things I loved about her.

"Reagan Swallows, you are a terrible liar." I chuckled gently before pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. I let my hand trail down her face and to her shoulder. She was so soft. She felt like the fluffy part of a feather.

"Not as terrible as you, Daisy Taylor." She tilted her head side to side with her eyes cast towards the ceiling.

"You're right about that." She laughed and glanced towards the mirror on the far wall of her room. A few seconds later, her smile fell. She sighed, but kept her eyes on her reflection.