Golden Bonds

Oh, This Is So Much Worse.

Hey everyone,
This pictures is actually from Trotting park a very real abandoned horse track outside of Phoenix Arizona. Not a bad place for a werewolf den!! This picture always did draw me in in a creepy beautiful way.
DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!!

Love
NJ Kuhr
XOXO

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Growling, more of that damned infernal noise. I wasn't dead than. I could spend the rest of my life never hearing howls again. But if it was still echoing inside my head, I was alive. Wait. It was coming from inside my head. I was the one growling. Why the hell would I be doing that? Even knowing it was coming from me didn't make it stop. Then I felt her. A shift, subtle but heavy moved inside my thoughts.

Dead, I must be dead. One of my foster moms would force us to Sunday school, quoted scripture at us when we committed some perceived wrong doing. Nothing about heaven or hell ever mentioned anything like this. I hurt everywhere, aching and sore. My bones screamed as if acid had been injected into my skeleton. Vague memories of a worse pain slipped through. This wasn't the worst of it. Somehow, the burn was easing and I could think through it. Not the most comforting observation.

The presence was in pain too. She was whimpering against the burn as her... no our bones shifted and resettled back into place. Both of us pressed into opposite sides of my head. Catching untrusting glimpses of each other as we suffered, sharing in the pain. She was growling at me blaming me for our torment.

What is happening to me?

She whined. She didn't know either.

I've lost my mind. I have gone completely insane, crazy... loco. This is what people meant. There was not only an animal living inside my head but I was talking to it and she was talking back. Not with words but she sent me feelings and impressions. We shared control over my body and my pain induced insanity was telling me I was sharing thoughts with a creature.

Multiple personality disorder, that's what this was. It's called something different, something identity disorder. Dissociative identity disorder, was that it? The wolves, they'd attacked me and my trauma riddled mind had created a separate identity.

And as cruel fate would have it she was a wolf. I may push myself hard enough to cause some soreness but I never thought I was a masochist. A wolf, the same beast that had caused my mind to snap was the companion I created to cope with it. What kind of seriously screwed up crap is that?

Something licked me. Not actually on skin but inside my head the wolf licked me. Comforting presses of her head against my mind somehow worked in a freakishly weird way. She was helping me. Everything is fine, I can deal with this. Somehow. A wolf was inside my head but there was a safe sort of kinship connecting us; deeper than friendship. I'd never had family before but this felt like more than that. Twins might feel this way though I doubt they have quite this literal of a bond. She was a part of my soul; separate yet the same.

She curled up against my conscience, warmth and strength surged through my system. The pain wasn't so bad now. It ached, in every atom in my body it ached but it was tolerable. I could function through it. Taking inventory of my body there was a stinging itch over my skin worse than a bad sunburn. My bones weren't melting anymore though there was some residual tenderness that was fading fast.

As the pain grew less and less the hunger built. I was starving and not the long workout, burned a lot of calories starving. I was famished; rip someone's throat out over a raw potato level of famished. The wolf grumbled in agreement.