The Girl With The Past

Sophomore Year

I moved to a completely different school this year. I had to say goodbye to everyone but sometimes you have to make those sacrifices. Sacrifices aren't always for the worst but then again, a person like me looks at things differently. You could say I am not your average teenager and in all reality, that still holds true to this day. I will never be an average teenager and for me that is okay. Sophomore year was the year I started to realize things I should have a long time ago.

In sophomore year, I still lived with my sister Tiffany. It was her, my nephew, her husband, and me. Occasionally my other nephew would stay with us on the weekends. Things were fine when we move, until I actually looked at life. 

My life wasn't what I actually thought it was out to be.  My family was fucking awful. In sophomore year, I was supposed to do things that made me happy. I kept telling myself it would be my year. Turns out, I was definitely wrong. The beginning of the year I met my best friend Breanna. She was by my side since day one. I met a kid named Aj and lets just say he wasn't all that he turned out to be. I started making friends and getting to know others but I really wasn't that invested in school because well why would I  be? I changed schools, I had to make new friends, and I was the new kid.

Granted every year there is always a new kid but this school was different. I wanted to meet people. I wanted to be something. I started taking photography classes and I was in advanced classes because I was smart. Between every class me and my best friend would talk and I would typically be late for class. But that didn't bother me anymore. Honestly, why would it? As the school went on Aj became more important in my life. A little too important. Aj was in my weightlifting class and I loved seeing him. He would hug me the right way and he truly became one of my close friends. Until he started getting protective. When he got protective was when it got me hard. I fell for him. He was more than just a friend to me and he would constantly tell me I was only a friend to him. It hurt. 

In the middle of the year, I was still doing my same routine. Going to class, leaving and seeing my bestfriend in between. and going to the next class. I was constantly arguing with people and I had an attitude problem and eventually I knew it would catch up to me. I was in weightlifting class when it started off. I was maxing out like usual and I was having an off day. Aj was being over protective while everyone else was pushing me to become better. I ended up tearing my hamstring and some cartilage in my knee and I was out for  awhile. That is when I started FFA. 

FFA was a place I belonged even if I was forced to start it. I loved it as soon as I started and I to this day will always love it. It was something I was good at. I immediately made more friends and got serious with school because I needed my grades up for me to stay active. In FFA, i did dairy judging, quiz bowl, wildlife, forestry, and crops. I was good at memorizing things. Ag was by far one of my favorite classes and always will be. I met brody through FFA. Brody was a boy who I had a crush on but never thought much of it during school. He was a year younger than me and he was just some boy I enjoyed talking to. He was a kid who again had a big part in my life.

In high school, you learn who your real friends are and aren't. I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. Breanna was still my best friend and she wasn't fond of brody. Then again, no one was. Brody was the boy who was a star soccer and FFA student. Was in advance classes and everyone loved him if they knew him. He wasn't someone I should have been hanging out with but I knew I wanted to. I started hanging out with him more frequently and seeing him everyday after school and it meant a lot to me that we started to up our "friendship".  In October, we went to Louisville with our FFA group for a convention and we happen to become extremely close their. I ended up making out with him for 5 hours. Oops. But that was just the beginning. He was always touchy after that and that just became our friendship. I knew I should have ended it but then again why would I do that if I was falling in love with this kid. Even before we went back to school EVERYONE was talking about what had happened between us.

I wasn't a big fan of being the talk of the school. Hell, I never would want that. When my bestfriend found out she was disappointed in me for not telling her. She was sad I didn't tell her first. Well I was going to tell her but of course word spreads and everyone likes to talk. This started putting a dent in our friendship. I was spending more and more time with brody now and I knew it was a stupid idea. I just knew it. By this time we are finally getting closer to the end of the year and it feels amazing. We had quiz bowl championships and WE WON NATIONALS FOR 3rd PLACE. WE WON. And that was the greatest time of my life. Things finally started too look in a direction I wanted them too. I had my friends back, I had brody in my life, and I was doing more with FFA and school.  Summer was right around the corner.

When summer hit it was the best time of my life. From going to plays when I had to sneak out to see my best friend to going to Starbucks at 7 am to do summer school. Yes I did summer school. This was the year I found out I was going to graduate early. And that right there was when me and my best friend knew things were going to change.