The Shitty Author's Spam Book

hey hey hey waddup

so I'm pretty sure y'all can tell that I haven't been writing much and I've really only been voting and commenting on other people's stories.

well before y'all get on my ass I have an actual reason.

well you know about how I'm not very mentally stable? well it kinda went away for a few months but then it kinda came back and I had a really  bad panic attack in front of my mum. I'm talking about screaming and crying and scratching at myself. it was pretty bad. anyway I already saw my therapist although it wasn't as often because apparently I was getting better but I guess not. so then my mum told the place I get therapy with my therapist about my panic attack and how I heard the voices again and stuff so they recommended this other out-patient place where I get group therapy from 9-12 and we bring our own lunches because they don't have a cafeteria or anything so we just eat lunch in either the rec room or the group room and we literally only have 1 hour of school there and then we just go outside or watch a movie and sometimes even do an art activity until it's time to go home at 3pm.

okay so here's my schedule

9-9:30am: get to school and get checked for weapons or substances
9:30: start group
12pm: eat lunch
1-pm: school
2-3pm: rec time
3pm: go home

so I mean it's not bad place but I do miss my friends at my actual school and I've been there for about 2-3 weeks and I'm gonna be there for about another 2 weeks. maybe even 3 more weeks. it's pretty chill and relaxed and I fucking love the staff so fucking much. my favorite tech there isn't in my group which is the adolescent but he's in intermediate so he usually only watches them but if our tech doesn't arrive he'll be with us and he's so fucking awesome. he likes mcr and a bunch of other great bands and he's mexican and speaks spanish too so we always talk really fast spanish while everyone else is really confused and frustrated and he has an eyebrow piercing and ear piercings even though he doesn't wear them. I gave him one of my mcr bracelets yesterday and he wore it today and I felt so happy because he didn't forget it. and today when we went outside for rec he told me he was thinking of wearing his eyebrow piercing again and he told me not to tell anyone and I was just like "it's a secret right Mr?" and he nodded and kept playing tag with the little kids.

I've met a lot of awesome people there including him and my friend who also has psychosis and has red hair and likes to dab a lot and he also likes funk music.

there was this other girl who got discharged who brought her ukulele and taught me the first few cords to the twenty one pilots cover of Fools Rush In. I really miss her but she's doing okay with her girlfriend and her regular school. we still talk on Kik so I guess I didn't lose her completely.

I'm doing okay for now and I know I promised y'all a new book so I will write it when I get discharged and maybe if I do good process I'll write the beginning before just for you guys.

anyway I love y'all a lot and also don't judge me for saying y'all because I've always been in the "redneck states" which are Tennessee and Texas for me and yes I know there's more but I was raised in those two okay so don't judge me for my vocabulary.

lol I love y'all stay happy suck a dick and treat yo'self.