Prophecy: Tome of Blood

14. Deserving

Everyone was doing their very best to get things back to normal. Well, not normal, because that was indeed an impossibility, but as close as they could manage. The rest of the gang had surprisingly human errands they had to run-Myrna was searching for Qui'hara now that they'd found their resident ghost, and Lorelei was off to her checkup. Cliff, well, Cliff hadn't mentioned where he was going, and Toby was canvasing, looking for Genesis and Andreegys before they could strike again. It had been fortunate that the last disaster they'd caused hadn't been as bad as the first-but it'd still taken too many lives and he was determined to make sure that didn't happen again. That left Austin, who was working in his own way to prevent another catastrophe.

"This sucks ass, I wish there was more I could do." Percy was blue. Technically she was transparent, but blue all the same. That had been her condition since she'd been returned to their realm.

"It's not your fault you don't remember anything-and it's probably better that way, don't worry about it. We're so close now, I can feel it, I've just got to figure out the last little bit of this prophecy and then maybe we can fix this." Austin didn't bother glancing at her as he rattled off.

"You can't bring Dill back to life, there's no fixing that." She was quick to respond, knowing that it wasn't fair once she had. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm not okay with it yet. It's just, I was standing there talking to him one minute, and he was so happy and excited about Lorelei and the baby, and the next thing I know I'm here with Myrna and the nun, and they're telling me he's dead. No, more than that, he was murdered-by something I helped bring into this world."

"Hey, don't put that on yourself, it could've just as easily been one of us that got hijacked. Dill died protecting someone he loved, that was his own choice, there's peace in that." He did look at her this time, sighing.

"Not for me." Still her mind was made up, and she couldn't be talked out of it. But it did hurt to think about, and she softened, "that's what we were talking about, you know. He was asking me if I meant it when I said he wasn't a coward. I told him the truth, that he has always been a hero to me. I guess I do feel a little better knowing that was the last thing I got to say to him, and that he went out that way."

"Good, hold onto that. I know it hurts, it hurts for all of us, but we're going to make it through this."

"Maybe. Hopefully. All I can think about is how unfair all of this is."

"That's just the way it goes, but his death wasn't arbitrary-it meant something," again Austin prepared to go on.

"No, that's not what I mean. Look at me, look at what I am. I don't mean the ghost part, I mean the vicious bitch part. I've been pampered and spoiled my whole life, walking through it with my eyes closed, and yet somehow I got to remain here after I died-I got to continue, to go on. Then, I was brought back-not once, but two times. Why do I get to stay when no one else does? Dill deserves to be here, to see his baby be born and to love him. Not me, I don't deserve any of this, I've never done anything right. Like I said, it's unfair." Finally Percy stopped, catching her breath and hoping he wouldn't notice how out of her mind she was.

"Well," he had to think about the best way to approach her, knowing she was fragile. "The short answer is that you got to stay because an ancient god made it that way. There's really no way around that, but it doesn't mean you don't deserve it. Don't forget that under all that money, all that favor your dad spoiled you with, there was a steep price he forced you to pay. You have not gone through life blind, Percy, trust me, you've always braced it with your eyes wide open. You fought a hard battle growing up, and it didn't end when you escaped him-you just jumped back into another one. And you do it without complaint, I think that's pretty selfless of you. You're a fighter, a warrior, and you do deserve it."