And So They Move Uptown: A Theodosia/Philip Story

Eighteen: I'm (Not) Sorry

A/N: I feel like this quote summarizes up this chapter fairly well, so... sorry...

Two weeks.

The days limped by slowly, the clock frozen. Every day, Theodosia waited for Philip to come back.

She kept waiting.

Her parents made a regular appearance, coming almost every night before she fell asleep. Though her mother never talked, she was always there, smiling and holding Theodosia's hand. Burr talked softly to her, always saying how proud he was of her. They were there to fill the empty hole when Philip never came.

She kept waiting.

Every day, she'd write a letter to him, begging for him to come to the hospital. She missed him dearly, becoming worried every day she didn't get a reply. 

She kept waiting.

The two weeks slowly drifted, and Theodosia was finally allowed to leave. Brushing off the ratty white dress she was given, she held her green dress in her arms and left the room. He gait was slow and unsteady, but she managed to make it outside and into a carriage.

Philip sat in his room, on his third glass of wine. There was dirty laundry all over the floor, and the desk had ink stains all over it. A pile He was barely dressed, his cravat hanging loosely around his neck and his shirt was untucked.

Theo went to the front door and found it unlocked. Timidly stepping in, she observed each room carefully. "Philip?" Her voice was soft and hoarse.

He looked up. "Madelyn? She's not supposed to be here for another-" He opened the door and froze, his eyes wide.

Her face lit up as she ran over to hug him. He barely hugged her back, shocked at the state she was in. Her hair had straightened slightly, and her face was pale. The white hospital dress she was given was ragged on the bottom and faded. 

"I-I missed you," she said softly, looking up at him.

"I missed you too." He hugged her again, picking her up slightly.

Wincing, she stepped away. "Why didn't you come visit me?"

Philip froze. "I-I... I didn't want to see you when you were in such bad shape."

"I waited for you. Every day for two weeks, I sent you a letter. Didn't you see them?" Her eyes fell past the doorway onto the desk. "You read every single one. You read them and you never came?"

"Yes, yes I did," he said quietly, looking away.

"I got my hopes up every day, telling myself that you'd come." Tears welled in her eyes. "My parents came to see me before you did," she said, raising her voice.

"Theo, your mother is dead and your father doesn't know where you are!" He bit his lip, instantly regretting what he said.

Theodosia blinked back tears, trying to stay strong. "Why are you acting so different? You-you're drinking, and being messy. Look at yourself. This isn't the Philip I know." She stepped towards him and took his cravat in her hands, trying to tie it correctly.

He pushed her away, and she weakly fell to the ground. Philip turned away, his face reddening with anger. "Fine! You want to know why I didn't see you? I was with Madelyn this whole time because I can't handle you being sick all the time!" He covered his face, leaning against the wall.

She sat on the ground, staring fearfully at him. Tears blurred her vision, and she stood up, pushing past him into the bedroom. Forcing most of her belongings into a suitcase, she picked up the letters she wrote him and crumpled them up, her tears smudging the ink.

"Theo, I-" He touched her shoulder, and she yanked away from him, pushing the letters into his chest. Picking up the suitcase, she stood in front of him. "I swear I'll be around for you! That's what you told me."

"Theodosia, please, let me explain!" He reached out to take her hand, and she pulled away from him.

Running out the front door, she tripped down the stairs, trying to stop the flow of tears. Hailing a carriage, she stepped inside, and it shot off.

This was by far the worst chapter I have ever had to write.

On a different note, 500 READS AND 40 VOTES!! Thank you so much for everyone who has read and voted and commented. Seeing your comments really makes me smile, and it really motivates me to keep updating.

Thanks so much!! And also, I'm sorry...

< Jella >