After some time had passed, Harry did not know how long it had been since he was sitting here, he looked at his arms. There were many thin cuts, who was he trying to fool, his arm was covered in scars. Old ones, new ones, deep ones and a few healed ones. He put the blade aside and slipped it under the cabin again.
So what now ? He asked himself.
It was a always strange when he would cut himself. Not the cutting itself, but the feeling afterwards. It didn't hurt or bleed that much, but he always felt kind of weird. Not sad, nor happy, maybe satisfied ? No, that surely was a part of it but didn't describe it properly. The feeling was a mixture of satisfaction, loneliness and guilty. He didn't know why he would always cut himself, it kind of helped him deal with all the stress, sadness and loneliness he had to deal with. But it also made him feel weak, because he had to hurt himself in order to move on.
Harry was still sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall with blood-covered arms. He didn't stand up until he heard Mrs. Weasley groaning and slowly waking up, this was his signal, that he had only about fife minutes left, before she would come to the bathroom. He quickly got up, rinsed his arms with cold water to stop the bleeding and searched for blood on the floor. Luckily there was none, so he silently slipped out of the bathroom to go back to Ron's room. He had just slipped out when he heard somebody call his name
"Harry dear ?" asked Mrs. Weasley"what on earth are doing at this time in the morning, it's 5 a.m."
"Oh I just had to go to the bathroom" he lied.
She looked at him suspiciously, and Harry was scared she would notice his arms, even though it was very dark.
She smiled "well you can still sleep about three hours before we'll have to pack"
"To pack ?" Harry asked "what for ?"
"Have you forgotten ?" She laughed "the new school year starts tomorrow"
"Oh right" Harry murmured "I'll be off then" he said and offered her a gentle smile.
"Till later Harry" she said as he was already heading to Ron's room.
"I totally forgot" he murmured to himself "tomorrow I'll be going back to Hogwarts"
He sighed, sure he loved Hogwarts, but he also hates being the center of attention. Now, that the prophet described him as "the chosen one" instead of "the boy who's traumatized" all the people who hated him last year were going to be all friendly around him, acting as if the last year didn't happen. He hated these people the most, who were listening to everything the newspaper said, and who had no opinion of their own.
He sighed again.
"Well it's not like I deserve better anyway"
And with that thought in his head, he sat in the bed, still thinking about tomorrow. Eventually he dozed away, but wasn't really asleep so when Mrs. Weasley came to wake him up, he was still tired. After breakfast, they started packing their suitcases and preparing to go to Hogwarts again. At 8:00 am they arrived at the train station, waved Mrs Weasley goodbye and hugged her and got into the train.
"So where are we going to sit?" Harry asked
"Oh im sorry Harry, but Ron and me are going to sit in the front with the other prefects" Hermione answered, looking down.
"Yeah sorry mate", Ron replied, "it's one of these stupid rules..."
"We'll be back as soon as possible I promise !" Hermione said, now looking at him
"Yeah, no it's fine you guys, I mean it's the rule so... see you later I guess" Harry said.
"Yeah, later Harry" Hermione and Ron said, already heading towards the prefect compartment.
Harry waited, until the entered the compartment, he wasn't mad at them for leaving him alone, he wanted to spend some time just thinking anyway. After two weeks of seeing them all the time, he was happy he could just be alone for once. He started looking for empty compartments, and just when he thought he had seen one someone was calling him.
"Harry, is that you ?" a familiar voice asked, "come sit with us !"
Harry turned around to see Neville Longbottom waving at him.
"Oh great", he thought,"can one never be alone ?"
He sighed, "oh no thank you, I er... I don't want to bother you"
"Bother us ? What are you talking about Harry ? Now, come on in!" Neville persisted and Harry had to follow him into the compartment. He really wasn't looking forward to this, knowing Neville would talk to him non-stop. Sitting across from him was Luna Lovegood.
"Hello Harry Potter" she said in an dreamy voice "it's nice to see you"
"Nice to see you too Luna" he said, slightly confused. Luna was wearing a strange pair of glasses,probably from the Quibbler, her fathers magazine.
"You know, there are nargels all over you" she said in a concerned voice.
"Oh um really ?", Harry asked .
"Yes there are quite a bunch, so you better watch out"
Harry chuckled a bit "yeah I'll watch out, thank you". Luna certainly was a strange girl, but he didn't mind.
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If you guys have any tips or criticism, be sure to write them/it in the comments. I'm not sure, if I wrote the self-harming part that well, it's my first time writing about something like this. So yeah, hope you like the story and see you in the next chapter
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Enlightenment in my Darkness ~ snarry
Romance"Hold me, save me, don't leave me !" It's his sixth year in Hogwarts, and Harry is struggling with the loss of his godfather Sirius. He doesn't know how to handle the pain, and feels guilty. He doesn't know who to talk to, as it seems, that nobody q...
