Meaningless

The Fall

After Andrew had decided to meet up at the bus ramp I tried to find a hoodie, I really did. But since I was going to end everything tonight I had figured I wouldn't need one. It would be their last day to judge me anyway so why not just let them have their fun? Doesn't matter now though because due to the lack of hoodie Andrew now knows about my cuts. My new ones. I swore he'd never know. Another promise broken I guess...

But on to the story. Andrew wanted to meet up to discuss "us", if that's what he wants to be. He wants us to be public, for me to go to all of his sports games and tryouts along with practices. I hate sports. I didn't have the heart to tell him that. I also hate crowds, but he loves them. Surrounded by one all the time if I'm honest. He also doesn't mind my style, but wants me to actually talk yup his friends. Are you kidding me?!? Jock central?!? No thank you! But he asked me with those pleading blue eyes, so how could I say no? Then after all of that, he noticed the lack of hoodie, my bare arms shivering... He offered me his jacket, but I said no. He proceeded to reach for my arms, prove that in cold. Runs his hands down my arms and feel the bumps of the scars... He was curious and I had to look away as he examined my wrists... running his fingers over them counting every one under his breath... I was crying... He lifted my head, wiped away my tears and kissed me softly... I think I love him... Andrew then wrapped his jacket around my shoulders, guiding me to my truck.

I'm home now. Home alone... missing him already and at the same time wanting to reopen every single little cut on my arms... still wanting to end it all... Then everything gets worse when I hear my mothers prius pull into the drive.

"Dawn!" She's already yelling. I counted 2 seconds from the front door closing. I think it's a new record!

My mother and I really don't get along. I'm her big mistake and she's the pain in my ass. I can't wait to turn 18 and move out of this he'll that I'm living in...

Bang! Bang! Bang! She knocks on my door three times with force. I swing the door open and am now face to face with what I believe is the reincarnation of the devil to the earth. "Get down there and move that truck of yours immediately!" She screams it in my face, I swear she was trying to set me off.

"If you want it out of the way that bad then fine. I'll just leave damnit!" And with that I grabbed my phone, keys, and Andrew's jacket, storming out of the house that will never be home.