Man in the Wall (Who is he?)

Chapter 15 - Tormenting predicaments

"SOLD TO WHAT!?" I yell out, barely believing what I just heard.

My brain is in overdrive, causing hot flashes and sweating. I start feeling lightheaded, fatigue, muscles tensed, my heart beating rapidly. It feels like my chest and throat are swelling and closing off, making it hard for me to breath.

These symptoms have happened before, yesterday to be precise. I'm having another panic attack. My hands ball up into tight fists while clenching the bedsheet in them. I search around the room frantically for a sign of this all being some sadistic neurotic tomfoolery. This has to be a joke.

Peggy's hands cover her face as tears stream through them. She doesn't notice my current panic state as her sobs are louder than my gasps for air. Yesterday she helped me perfectly, but right now I'm afraid I'll have to help myself. I try thinking back to her methods of calming down. The more I think, the more I panic, not being able to recall the memories. My chest tightens and I shift my one hand from the bed to my bod, now clenching onto the tank top as if it's the cause that my air supply is being cut off.

I shift my gaze down to the floor, my head hanging low, feeling heavy. Suddenly the floor starts spinning. I feel my body weakening and the floor seems to move closer to me with each blink.

"Vivian!" Peggy yells and I soon feel arms wrap around my body to hold me up on the bed. My eyes shoot straight into her bloodshot pair and her previous words pierce through my thoughts like a dagger straight through a beating heart.

I'm going to be sold on the blackmarket, I think while staring at Peggy. I find myself far too dumbstruck to allow actual words to flow from my tongue.

Bullshit!... I pray it is Jess.

How can this possibly be true? Aren't those days long over? This is the modern world. What human being in their right mind continues to kidnap and trade other human beings. Those days of slavery are over. What is this? Throwback Thursday to a world of misfortune. I think not, I can't accept such a fate, I refuse! Kidnapped by Frank and that idiot Steven. They're the reason I'm here. Couldn't they just leave me alone!? Kidnapped to be sold? Freaking sold!

You were kidnapped on Tuesday. So technically speaking today is Thursday, Jess adds her five cents.

Not the time, Jess! Internally yelling.

"Vivian, listen to me. I need you to breathe. Try to remember what we did yesterday," Peggy says while calming herself.

Like that's not what I've been trying to do for the past two to three minutes. 

She starts counting and like a switch being flicked, I suddenly remember what to do. This time catching my breath and calming down is not as challenging as it was before. The physical attack may have subsided, but the emotional attack still lingers. I cannot seem to fathom Peggy's news outburst.

"Peggy," I finally manage to speak and she let's go of my body, "please tell me that you're joking. That this is your way of scaring the living soul out of me because it's working and I'd like for it to be over. I get it, I need to behave. Just, please tell me it's a joke," I say, my eyes now tearing up, blurring my vision.

"I don't know for how long I can keep doing this," she says, hanging her head in shame. Not the response I was looking for, but we're getting somewhere. It has only been three days, but I've never seen this side of her before. I've never seen how vulnerable she really is. She always portrays such elegance, professionalism, a strong, young woman. Especially in front of the men. Yet right now she truly looks broken, beaten, drained and ready to give in. But there's something holding her back, I can sense it.

"Why haven't you gone to the police!? Why haven't you said anything to anyone!?" I question frightfully as tears escape each eye socket.

"Don't you think I've tried to. But-... you know too much already. No. Enough is enough. I cannot afford to break down like this," she says as she wipes her tears away. "Come on Peggy. Gather yourself appropriately," she mutters while straightening out her already straightened clothing.

A sigh escapes me. I know far too little, if not less. There's nothing she has told me that could help me in any way possible. The questions continue to pile, yet the answers remain to a minimum. It's the lack of insight that frustrates me.

"Who were the other two girls you had before me?" I ask concerned. 

I have to know everything about the world I have been seized into.

"Enough questions! Vivian I- for the love of- stop with all of the questions. And do not speak of this to anyone! You'll get the both of us into tormenting predicaments," she says sternly, wipes her eyes and stands firmly. "You have to start obeying the men here. They're the ones in control. You girls have no say against their orders." Through her bloodshot eyes, she's back. The serious, professional, young woman I met only a few days ago.

"You expect me to hand myself completely over to them? To become their slave? They've already captured my body. I will not allow them to capture my mind. I won't stand or sit back while being treated like Irish bull. Tossed and thrown around everywhere I go. Abused at every corner. Promised one thing, then shown another. I can't live like this!.. I HAVE A FAMILY!" I spit out, tears heavily flowing down my face.

"So do I, Vivian!" Peggy yells in a way as if saying 'we-all-do-you-imbecile'.

"Then why are you still here? Why are we still here? Why not help us escape? None of us deserve to be on this path. None of us placed ourselves here. Help us to go back home. Please!" I beg and plead while grabbing onto her hands, holding them in mine. 

She starts to shake her head, "I'm sorry, but I can't."

Her voice stern, she takes a moment to process her thoughts and I let her be. Maybe she's rethinking her decision.

"Even if I could, I still wouldn't. I couldn't. It's not worth it," she says as she pulls her hands away from mine. I stare at her, perplexed by her response. All emotion evacuates her face. As if the reality of her work suddenly hit her and once again I become the peasant and she royalty... sort of.

Didn't she just say that she couldn't do this anymore? Now she doesn't want to help you escape? What?... I'll find out now Jess.

"I thought you said you couldn't do this anymore," I ask, wiping away my tears while holding back others.

Crying has never been an enjoyment, not even tears of happiness. Red eyes, stained cheeks, blurred vision, a runny nose, all things I prefer to avoid. Yet shedding tears seem to be a non-stop occurrence since arriving here.

"I know what I said," she turns away from me and I notice the red hand imprint still on her cheek, "I regret saying anything in the first place."

"Well, it's too late for that! You spilled some pretty heavy things on me!" I jump off of the bed, my steps faltering a bit as the pain from my bruises spike, and turn her back around by her shoulders to face me. "What's not worth it? Why won't you-"

"Would you stop with the questions!" 

Feeling the irritation radiating off of her, I take a few steps back. This is not the way to do things, then again I never received an instruction manual of how to things. But I won't get anything out of her if I continue to press and pry with this approach.

"What's going on here!?" Our heads snap towards the direction of the voice booming throughout the room as the door flies open.