What I Want, When I Want

CHAPTER 1. *Age 13* Nikki's POV

I'm in my hometown of Brooklyn. My family, or I guess you'd say my mom and I moved here about a year or two ago.. My father was incarcerated when I was 12. I'm still not sure why. My mother works 2 jobs. In the daytime she's a waitress at Hooters. At night, she works at Double D's on East Tremont Ave. It's a nightclub. (I know, how professional) Anyways, when I first turned 12, I'd say my life turned upside down...

•FLASHBACK•

"Oh Nikki," I thought to myself... "Why must you be so fat... so ugly..?" I had to do something about this. I was looking in my mirror comparing myself to my best friend who had just recently been at my house... She was so beautiful, so thin, so wanted... We had just eaten a big meal, and it had to go... I walked into the bathroom and weighed myself. 220lbs. Unacceptable.. It had to go. I stood there over the toilet and slowly stuck my fingers into my mouth, searching for my uvula. I pressed slowly and immediately regurgitated. After keeping this up for months it occurred to me that I was bulimic. And I was fine with that. My goal weight was 130lbs and that's where I was gonna get down to....

.... Or so I thought. I got down to 150lbs before my mother found out and I was immediately sent to a clinic and psychiatrist. Which, I'm thankful for because God only knows how far I would've gone with that.. But at the same time I wasn't completely happy.. I felt unloved. My mother always had something to yell at me about and I always saw that no one (meaning boys) liked me. But then there was this one. He was my first kiss and made me feel so special about myself.. We'll call him "Train." I believe he was the cause of my depression. After all of the flattery, he just stopped. No warnings and got me involved in some things I don't even want to talk about.. Depression hit. I slept all the time, I cried, and I cut.. Another thing I'm grateful my mother caught because if I had went too deep, I might not be alive today..

•FLASHBACK ENDS•

We'll end right there. You may learn more about this as we go on. For this is the start of an abnormal teenage life.