The Black Goat's Egg

Chapter 1

And just like that, the first flake of snow fell, symbolizes the start to a new season.

Heat.  Warm hot embers were burning all around me, they surrounded me, locking me inside a cage of fire.  I didn't care.  I no longer had any reason to care. 

My life is and will always be a mess.  The only thing I had left, no, the only thing I still cared for was him.  He was the reason I continued to take each day, not even a moment of doubt would cross my mind, because everything I did, everything I lived for, was him.  It was because of him, that I accepted being a ghoul, becuase of him, I had to get I stronger.

When times were tough, because of him, I no longer felt pain, becuase the only pain I could feel, was his rejection.  His smallest actions or gestures would captivate me, they captivated me more than anything else.  Whether I lived or died, was fully up to him.  I was in the mercy of his hands, I was in the mercy of Hide.

A single tear slipped down my cheek as I looked at his lifeless body.  He was fragile, pale and to an extreme extent, broken.  I recalled his warm smile, how it hid his inner pain, faking itself for the sake of others.  Even in his last moments, he cared about others more than himself.  He was the true definition of pure.  He was an angel, brought down by the heavens and gifted to me, the one sane thing I had, the one priceless thing.  His compassion bewildered me.  His courage startled me.  Even after he knew who I really was, what I did, who I've ate, he didn't stop loving me.  He never doubted me, and placed all of his trust in me. 

But I was too selfish to understand.  I thought he'd hate me, I thought he'd stop caring.   I regret so many things.  I wish that I would have known he already knew my true nature, a ghoul.  I wish I could have told him how I felt.  All the feelings that I've bottled up for years.  What I felt for Hide was wrong, it wasn't the type of love friends should have, and I knew this.  Except I was too selfish to accept this. 

I had to have him, he was mine.  No one else's.  I wanted to sink my teeth into him so deeply, that he would never heal.  I wanted him to be marked by me, to smile at me, to answer to only me.  I wanted to taste him.  I wanted him to be mine. 

I couldn't handle rejection, and look where it got me.  My most precious object, lifeless, in my own arms.  I knew it was my fault, there was no one else to blame.  I started this, and I got him involved.  I would never be forgiven, he would never forgive me for the sins that I have committed. 

I looked down wincing as I accepted his fate.  I remembered the faint smile he gave to me as he parted this world.  I was dumbfounded. 
Was he mocking me?  Did he know this was my fault?  Or did he want to tell me to continue without him, as if his life meant nothing?

No.  I won't stand for it.  Because of them, because of the humans, he was gone.  Those bastards had the minds of livestock.  They didn't understand, they didn't want peace, they wanted war.  They wanted us to live in fear for the rest of our lives.  They won't get away with it, I won't let them get away with it, all lives are precious, and ghouls know this, so why can't the humans? 

They use each other like pawns throwing away friends for their own safety.  How is it that they call us the monsters, how are they able to justify themselves, I still haven't, and I don't think I will.  But one thing is for sure, Hides death will mean something, I'll make sure of it.