Friends With Benefits (Justin Bieber Fanfiction)

Friends With Benefits chapter 18

I gawked at the note and my body stiffened. The note dropped out of my hand and floated to the bed. I slapped my hand to my mouth as tears instantly poured from my eyes. He let me down, again. I gave him everything and he just let it all die. I can't blame him for wanting to be a good father but- I love him. I can't live without him; I won't live without him.

It felt motionless, but my aggression helped me stand up and guide me down stairs to my kitchen. I stumbled multiple times coming down the stairs, it didn't help that my tears were blocking most of my sight. I grabbed onto the banister for support but I had nothing to grasp in the hall that led to the kitchen so I fell. I just laid there and bawled my eyes out, I was crying so loud and eventually started to gasp for air.

I laid there for what felt like hours when in reality it was 45 minutes before I ambitiously crawled to my kitchen still too week from my heartbreak to stand. I wasn't going to suffer through this, I knew he wasn't going too. He's going to have a family that he said he always wanted with me -with her. If I didn't do this I would be hopelessly suffering forever alone. I have to do this.

I went to my kitchen and opened up my second-to-the-left drawer below the sink. I went back upstairs to my room and into my private bathroom. I hate saying "my," I want to say "our."

I sat myself against the back wall. I started to feel like it was my fault and not his. I wasn't good enough and I was pathetic for ever thinking I was. "For being not good enough," I whisper to myself because slicing a deep cut upon my wrist. "For being pathetic" I said before adding a long and thin one beside it. Before I knew it I was screaming at the top of my lungs insults about myself and was slicing my arms, thighs, stomach, and anywhere else I could reach.

I didn't stop until I started to feel woozy and fell back handed against the wall. Everything was moving and blurry, the last thing I seen before darkness came over was blood. So much blood.

I came to conciseness in a hospital room with over a dozen wires connected to me in various places. I didn't remember how I got here or anything. Who the fuck came into my house and called 911?

My head was aching all over and my arms and legs were wrapped in this towels. There was a long, thick, bandage that covered my entire stomach and boobs that had blood stains. I had a gown on though. I heard the beeping of a machine to my left and seen empty chairs to my right. I was alone, ironic how that's what I was trying to avoid.

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Ayy! So sorry it took me a while to post! Thanks so much for hanging though this with me though! :) next chapter coming soon!!