White Walls [DIVERGENT]

18. Breakups

tygsfm for 1k votes! btw i will forever love this picture
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"I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away.  All that I need is one good one to stay."
Tobias:

Four days and seventeen hours.

Four days, seventeen hours and twenty eight seconds. Twenty-nine seconds. Thirty.

I just want time to dissipate, to consume me whole. Every hour feels agonizingly slow, like the world is intentionally crawling just to make me lose sanity.

Staring at the clock above the librarian's desk, I gritt my teeth to make my grip on the pen in my mouth tighter. My hands idly strum against a thin page of my astronomy notes, unable to concentrate on anything except the time. It doesn't matter that finals start tomorrow—I mean it does matter, but right now it feels like the least important thing.

I came here to study, to get away from my painfully empty house. Even though this is a public library, I can hear the voices ricochetting from wall to wall throughout the floor.

Boring my eyes on to my notebook, I struggle to get through one sentence without feeling a constant sense of irritability and impatience.

Neutron stars can rotate in their orbit about 500 times in 1 second.

Who. Fucking. Cares?

Tris said that she needed time to think, that she wasn't in the right mental being to be in a relationship with me. But, what triggered all of this? A fight with her brother.

I don't want the reason we break up to be because of some bullshit Caleb accused her of. But, at the same time, I don't want to completely call out him for saying those things when I have no clue what's going on his head.

Four days, seventeen hours , fifty three minutes and thirty nine seconds.

It's been only a few days since we decided to–she decided to–take a break. I want to be there for her, to be the shoulder she leans on and be the only person who kisses with a lace of devotion.

I've had girlfriends before, sure. But she was the first girl who ever made me feel loved, and like I'm actually worth something in this world.

Tris Prior was my first love.

And I want, more than anything else, for her to be my last.

Four days, seventeen hours, fifty five minutes, and two seconds.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

As I shut my notebook closed, the noise seems to echo around me. Finally, I think I've managed to drill all that information into my head for tomorrow.

Well, actually I spent the last hour and a half staring at my phone in hopes she'll call me. But, I did manage to memorize that one random fact about neutron stars rotating.

My stomach is growling so loud that I'm scared someone might hear, so I quickly toss my books into my small Jansport with a quite sigh.

I'm so ready to be done with high school.

"Honestly, she could have ended up on Sex Landed me in the ER," a voice exclaims from a few meters away, one that is so distinctive that my head shoots up in shock.

Christina Llotez and one of her other cheer friends, Celinë, stand in front of the shelf leading to the Romance genre.

Even though it's almost closing time for the library, I'm shocked that they're not in their usual uniforms considering that they wear it everywhere.