Hey guys!!! I just want to say thanks for 6000 READS!!! You guys are truly awesome!! ILYSM! okay well i am going to start something new, i will say one thing about myself in each chapter, so you get to know me. Okay so this fact about me is....
My best friend of all time in the whole wide world is SOPHIA MARIE MARCINIAK!! She is my sopha-bear and i love her so much i would not be the same without her, she helps me with everything and i miss her so much, so sophie, i love you babe :* <3!!
okay here is the chapter!
Hadleys POV
So life with Niki has been good. El brought Amelia home from her Mums, and well there is nothing to say about her except for the fact that every day she looks more and more like Amy. I have been being ignored more and more by everyone, and I guess its my fault for being me. It seams like everything is heading downhill. I have cut more, and now i am on suicide attempt #15. Thats 2 more attempts in less than a freaking year. You want to know why this is happening? Well you will see.
I woke up to the beating of my alarm clock. I cursed at my self for putting it across the room. I got up and went and took a shower. It was winter so I could cover my scars that were rapidly growing by the day. I have so many now that my arms look all red. I have become more self conscious. After my shower, i got dressed in black leggings, a gray long sleeve sweater, greyish white beanie, and my gray vans. I went downstairs and got an orange. I didnt bother packing a lunch so i just got on a northface and told Louis I was ready. He drove my to my school and I got out and walked in trying to ignore all the faces looking at me.
"Hadley, why didnt Louis leave you with your stupid Mum? We all can tell he doesnt want you"
"Hadley why didnt you take that blade to your neck when you cut last night?"
"Why dont you just die?"
"Stupid waste of space."
I got to my locker as fast as I could. i slammed my books in, and got to the bathroom before the tears came. I looked in the mirror. All i saw was a girl staring back at me. I heard the door open so i ran into a stall.
"Looks like the slut needs to know her place if she wants to stay here." I heard someone say.
"She needs to stay out of out way, she is just an ugly bitch why does anyone even like her? " I heard someone else say.
"Well we should be going, dont want to be late for class" then they left. I got out brushed off my tears and went to class.
AFTER SCHOOL
I got a ride home from Sophie, because the boys couldnt give me a ride home. I went in and saw everyone home. Those little lieing bitches. I went into my room and started on my homework. I didnt have a lot, but I had French, LIT1, and LANG2. I did my French, and LIT1, but left my language2 homework for later because I needed help. Dyslexia for me is weird because I can read French fine, but English is freaking messed up. I went onto my computer and saw the hate.
@1D_luvs_me: @HadleyOfficialTommo why are you alive?
@Hadley_hater: @HadleyOfficialTommo come on, slit your wrists enough to die already!
@Anna_Banana1D: @HadleyOfficialTommo The entire 1D fandom is waiting to praise the day when you commit.
@XOXallieXOX: @HadleyOfficialTommo Let the voices win please.
Then there were the occasional nice ones
@1D_is_my_idol: @HadleyOfficialTommo please dont listen to them, the boys love you and us TRUE directioners love you too. Stay strong babe. XOX
I followed the nice tweeters, and believed the haters. The worst part was, the haters all got what they wanted every night when i slit my wrists hoping it would be the last, but it never was. I went to wash my face and looked in the mirror.
I saw a girl. This girl had dull brown hair, it looked like it used to be wavy. She had now dull green eyes. She was pale, and just worn out. I hated everything about this girl. I hated the hair, the eyes, the chapped lips, but mostly I hated that she was me. I stared at the reflection, this time it wasnt me talking, but my mind. It was the demons.
die
die
die
they want me dead.
die
die
die
the promise not to tell
the demons killed me.
or did i kill myself?
i let the demons in
thats worse than anything else.
never let your demons in,
dont let your monsters rule your head,
if you ever do
you will end up dead.
They were chanting in my head.
DIE DIE DIE
WASTE OF SPACE
NO ONE LIKES YOU
I CAN SEE WHY
DIE DIE DIE
TAKE THAT BLADE
THE COOL METAL
AGAINST YOUR SKIN
DONT STOP TO ASK WHY
JUST
DIE DIE DIE
I kept looking at myself. The voices were getting louder. Still chanting DIE DIE DIE. I couldnt take it anymore. I covered my ears and let out an ear piercing scream while I slid down my wall. I let them in. I screamed to block them out, but the louder I screamed, the louder they got. and it never changes.
AUTHORS NOTE
HI. Sorry its a sadish chapter, but my friend is going to do an extra thing for this story. she will write the dates the boys take their girl friends on. her account is @vball4eva25 so if u wanna read them, then do!! okay well umm okay.
Stay Strong
<3 Momo
