The Contract

Chapter 14

After Shin had left to go track down some random girl and suck her blood, I found myself all alone in the room Dante had slept in before he had left with Reiji. His bed was messy and the pillow reeked of his hair. When had we become like this? How had he reached my feelings? I didn't understand. All Dante had done was stay by my side, but was that enough already? I cared about that annoyance of a demon. About someone who was going to kill me soon. I sank onto my knees. What was I supposed to do? Isn't it better for you if he dies before you start to care about him? Well, Shayde certainly had the gift of planting his sentences into my brain. But it was too late. Even if I didn't love Dante, I still cared. I worried while he was gone. But if it was too late already, wasn't that one more reason to deal with Shayde? I had the chance of staying alive. Did I really want this? I had a chance again, of getting my revenge and living.

I buried my face in my hands to hinder the tears from falling. This was why I hated decisions so much. Every single decision had consequences and I had to evaluate which consequences were best.

„Why are you looking so depressed?", Shin asked. I hadn't noticed him and flinched, but then looked up at him.

„I hate decisions", I murmured. Shin snorted.

„Don't you want revenge because someone took your last decision? Or did you realize you actually wanted to live and now want revenge because he killed you?", Shin asked amusedly. Despite of the fact that he was making fun of me, I froze. Yes, I wanted revenge because of my decision. Didn't I? I had always hated decisions.

„That's some new point of view", I whispered, my eyes widened. Shin smirked.

„Does that mean I'm right and you really wanted to live?", he asked. I couldn't deny it. That I had been stupid, not knowing what I wanted myself. I had wanted to live. When I thought about it, it sure made sense, because I wasn't really living at that time. Something had been missing, because I hadn't lived, I only had survived. I hadn't wanted to die and I had misjudged my feelings completely.

„Yeah. You're right", I whispered. I wanted to live, but I was going to die by Dante's hands. „You're right and you've just helped me decide."

Searching for a place where no one would interrupt me, I finally found myself standing on the roof of the building where Shayde had been sitting when we had first met. The problem: he wasn't there and there was also no opportunity of contacting him, was there? Maybe.

Deeply in thoughts, I touched my feather and tried to summon Shayde like that. In every fantasy book, something like that would work, but it didn't. At least not the way I had intended it to.

„What exactly are you trying to do? I'm right here, y'know", Shayde said. He sat right in front of me at the edge of the rooftop. Well, that was easy, then.

„The deal", I said and walked up to him. His eyes met mine and his grin vanished at once.

„Oh, let me guess: you're here to fight me because I tried to get you to betray your demon", Shayde said. I snorted.

„Not quite. I'm here to accept this bargain." Shayde stared at me in surprise, then burst out laughing. His teeth flickered dangerously and I thought about stepping back, but I didn't. Weakness was fatal. Caring was a weakness. Dante was deadly to me, so I would get rid of him. It was as easy as that, no complicated feelings.

„I didn't expect you to be so reasonable! What's wrong, grew up suddenly?", Shayde asked and got up. I ignored what he had said.

„So you will wait until I've had my revenge and then kill him. What'll happen to me, then?", I asked. Shayde came closer and lay his hand on my cheek, his lips getting dangerously close to mine and the red glow of his eyes glancing right at my face.