Movin' In With Quagmire

Came in like a Wrecking Ball

Sitting on the sofa, Peter was flipping channels.

"Ugh, there's nothing good on TV anymore," he moaned, and making a fist he said, "I wish to kill the writers who make all these crappy TV show episodes."

Lois, who was standing in the room with Peter, holding a basket of laundry, suggested, "Or you can just change the channel."

"I've tried that," Peter complained.

Lois then offered Peter some other advice. "Then why don't you go do something else, like go out or something?"

Looking at the TV, in which the "Wreaking Ball" by Miley Cyrus music video was shown, Peter then said, optimistically, "That's it! I know what I'm gonna do today!"

Running out, he then shouted, "BYE LOIS, SEE YOU WHEN I GET HOME!" He went to his car and drove off.

As soon as Peter was gone, Lois sighed, "Whatever floats his boat."

One hour later, after getting a Miley Cyrus hairdo, Peter hijacked a wrecking ball truck.

At an old building, which was going to be replaced, a construction worker said, "Where the hell is the wrecking ball truck?"

As soon as he drove the truck home, Peter began to strip and put on make-up to look like Miley, in the video and hopping on the ball, he said, "I can't wait to surprise my family."

Inside, Brian was in the living room watching the news.

"Construction workers complain of being robbed of piece of equipment," said the news reporter.

Brian replied, "That robber should be brought to justice."

In just a few moments, Peter swung, crashing into the living room, singing, "I CAME IN LIKE A WREKING BALL!"

"What the hell?!" Brian gasped, "What is going on?"

Peter continued swinging and singing "Wrecking Ball," while Brian was running, trying to avoid getting hit.

"PETER! STOP, BEFORE SOMEBODY GETS HURT!" he warned, yet Peter did not listen. He continued to swing and Brian ran into the dining room, hoping he would be safe . . . but not for long . . . As Peter continued swinging, the ball crashed into the dining room, crushing Brian's body.

"AHHHHHH!" Brian screamed, "SOMEBODY CALL 9-11!"

Lois who entered the room said, "Brian, are you okay?"

"No," Brian moaned in pain and Lois said,

"Don't worry, I will call the ambulance."

At the animal hospital, inside a room, where Brian was, Lois asked the vet, who had black hair and round glasses, "Is he going to be alright?"

"Well," the vet said, "He is going to need major surgery and physical rehab for a year."

"How much will it cost?" Peter asked.

"Two hundred thousand dollars," answered the vet.

Shocked, Peter responded, "WHAT?! Health insurance won't pay for it and plus we need that money to repair our home."

"What's wrong with it?" the vet wondered.

"There's a huge hole in our house."

Brian, who was now in a full body cast, replied sarcastically, "Gee, I wonder why; oh, maybe because you were stupid enough to SWING ON A FUCKING WRECKING BALL!"

"Geez, Brian, you don't have to cuss him out," Lois said.

"Actually I do," Brian said still angry, "He is the same guy who put me in this position in the first place."

"Accidents happen," Peter said, trying to lighten the mood, "You must forgive and forget."

"Yeah," Lois said, "What would Jesus do?"

Brian then replied, "Number one, stupidity isn't an accident, number two, you should know that I am atheist by now!"

Peter then said, "Okay I get it. Is there anything we can do for you?"

"Yeah," Brian said, "Pay for my medical expenses and for the rehab that I need to get back on my feet."

"But it's too expensive Brian," Peter said.

"Hey if you can afford that shitty hairdo and to get away with swinging on a wrecking ball without your damn clothes on, then you should be able to afford my medical expenses," Brian continued, "Peter, do you realize that you made a really bad decision?"

"Yes, Brian," Peter replied, "Maybe I should have gotten a Mohawk instead."

"You are missing the point, Peter," Brian said, "I don't care about your stupid haircut!"

"Hey," Peter said defensively, "My haircut is not stupid and just for that you really do deserve to be injured."

"You know what?" Brian said, "JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING SITE, NOW!"

All except for Meg, the Griffins left the room.

"YOU TOO, MEG!"

"But Brian, I-, "Meg began.

"GO, NOW!"