Lost and found

Meeting the Akatsuki

I was sleeping on a couch when I heard someone shouting. Akatsuki. They arrived. I sat up and looked around. I saw man with scythe who was shouting dirty words. That must be Hidan. Konan told me lot about other members.  Next to that bastard was someone with the mask. That is ... I was interrupted by somebody who started running around the room. He was shouting: "Tobi is good boy!"

"Who are you, little bitch?" asked Hidan

"I´m not little bitch, you piece of shit."  well I´m 160 centimetres tall  "I´m new Akatsuki member."

"Another bitch? Isn´t Konan enough?"

I looked at the other members. "My name is Misao." I pointed at the weird guy who was still running around. "What is that thing?"

"That´s Tobi, un. My name is Deidara, un."

Hidan the piece of shit. Deidara the bomb guy.  And Tobi the retard. Is there someone normal?

"I´m Hoshigaki Kisame and that´s Uchiha Itachi."

Shark and Uchiha. I think I Kisame is better than another Uchiha.

"Sasori," said the red haired guy.

"Kakuzu."

Kakuzu was counting his money. He didn´t look up from his work.

Then I felt somebody touching me. I turned left to see him. It was Tobi.

"Tobi likes Misao -chan! Does Misao-chan like Tobi?"

"Don´t touch me and don´t call me Misao-chan," I said quietly.

He was stil hugging me. Time for something drastic.

"Tobi is very bad boy!"

"But Misao-chan..."

That was enough. I bit my thumb. "Kuchiose no jutsu!"

I summoned a big snake. Another thing which sensei taught me. I hope Tobi doesn´t like snakes.

"You can do whatever you want. Don´t kill him."

My snake  was hugging him. I smiled.

"Hey bitch, wanna sleep in my bed tonight?" asked Hidan. I´m sure I´ll kill him soon.

"I would rather kiss Zetsu than sleep in your bed."

"Did you meet Zetsu, bitch?"  he asked.

"Yes. He was very nice to me."

"Zetsu? Nice?"

"Of course. He was much nicer than you."

"Hey Misao-chan..." started Hidan.

"Yes, darling?"

Hidan was angry. But I couldn´t help. "What do you want sweetheart?"

"I´ll fucking sacrifice you!" he shouted.

"Jashin, please kill him." Whole Akatsuki was looking at us. They were very curious. Ok I´ll show them who I am.

"You´re fucking Jashinist?" Hidan asked.

"Nope. I use his name when I´m cursing." I smiled. It´ll be fun.

Ok he was really pissed.

"I´ll fucking sacrifice you, bitch!"

"You´re repeating yourself, darling. Shall I show you my money no jutsu?"

"Try it, bitch! I´m immortal!"

"Kakuzu-san, could you beat you stupid partner for 1000 ryo?"

"What the fuck?" Hidan was surprised.

Kakuzu beat Hidan. I like Kakuzu a lot.

"Do you like my jutsu Hidan?" I asked.

"I´ll fucking sacrifice you to Jashin!"

"I thought you like pain."

"Bitch!"

"Apologize."

"Never!"

"Kakuzu-san I´ve got more than 1000 ryo."

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