Love Is For Fools - Fifty Shades Of Grey: Elena's Story #Explicit [Fifty Shades]

CHAPTER TWENTY

"...then one minute Grace was looking after me at the hospital and the next they'd adopted me. I don't really remember much in between...Which is odd as I can remember stuff from the time with the crack whore...All that stuff I wish I didn't."
My poor, poor, darling...
Christian is turned towards me on my bed and I gently stroke his face with my knuckles. "I'm so, so sorry, Christian. I knew you'd had a hard start to life...But I had no idea it had been so traumatic. No wonder you're still struggling."
He closes his beautiful eyes and sighs softly. "Flynn's also recently uncovered my long-held self-loathing and hatred of being touched...is actually down to a medical condition brought on from the physical abuse in my early years. All these years and all those therapists...And only Flynn has found out why."
"I'm so glad he's helping you, my darling."
"All those years," he begins quietly. "All those times I looked in the mirror...and wanted to punch it until it shattered into a million shards. When I could only just tolerate even little Mia getting up close to me...it wasn't all because of my fear and self-loathing." He opens his eyes and sweeps them up towards me - his grey irises glinting in the light like moving water. "All these years of utter torment...and I've had an actual medical condition that a bunch of other qualified fuckers totally missed." He takes a shuddering breath and puts his head in his hands.
"Oh Christian," I murmur, gently stroking his bicep. "It will get better, now Flynn's getting you the right help. And your new family love you very much. You do believe that...Don't you?"
He shakes his head, his eyes still closed. "They don't love me as much as the other two. They chose Elliot and Mia to adopt...But I was just some dumb kid they ended up rescuing." He murmurs sadly.
WHAT?!
"Christian, NO!" I exclaim sitting up. "Don't EVER let Grace hear you say that, it would break her heart."
He tenses and tightly screws his eyes shut.
"Look at me, Christian."
He shakes his head stubbornly. Anger flares inside me.
Christ sake, he can be hard work sometimes...
"Goddammit Christian, open your eyes or so help me, I will get a hairbrush and beat you with it myself!" I snarl.
His eyes spring open, wide and luminous as he gazes at me in shock. I point a long finger at him. "Don't you dare close your eyes again until you have fully heard me out. Do you understand?" I bark.
"Y-yes, Elena...Ma'am..." he breathes hurriedly.
"Good." I snap. "Just listen to what I have to say before you make any conclusions." Seeing his bewildered expression, I soften slightly. "Please, Christian."
He takes a deep breath and gazes at me intently. "Okay. I'll be quiet and listen." He promises.
That'll be a first...

**********

Christian stares at me in open-mouth wonder, looking more like a small boy at Christmas than an adolescent. He has kept his promise and listened intently as I have reeled off what I knew about how Grace had fallen in love with him from the first moment she saw him in the E.R. and how hard she and Carrick had worked to get his adoption organised as quickly as they could.
"...So you see...They did choose you, Christian and they loved you from the very start. They did everything within their power to make you a cherished member of their family."
He shakes his head sadly, rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling, his eyes glistening with the threat of tears. "And I repay them by behaving like a total asshole," he mutters bitterly.
Oh...Christian...
"When the Grey's adopted you, they knew they were taking on a very traumatised little boy and it wasn't going going to be all plain sailing. Think of all the things they did to try and help you...All their support and encouragement. They know it's been incredibly hard for you...And it still is." I sigh and reach out to touch his cheek and he tilts his head towards me. "But, I genuinely believe they are ultimately incredibly proud of you, Christian. Given everything you've been through, they can see you are still working hard to turn your life around. Look how far you've come in the past few months - achieving at school, learning coping strategies with Flynn, channeling your anger with kick-boxing..."
He grasps my hand suddenly. "Meeting you," he interrupts earnestly. "Meeting you is what turned my life around." He stares intently at me with an almost hypnotic gray gaze.
HOLY. FUCK.

"Oh Christian," I murmur. "I promise to do everything I can to help you through this. We'll take it slow...or not at all..."
His eyes widen in alarm. "No! No, Elena please. I don't want to stop that side of our relationship. I like it." He closes his eyes briefly and whispers, "I need it."
My thumb strokes rhythmically over his lush lips. "I know you do," I whisper back reassuringly. "But you must tell me if it ever gets too much and promise me you'll safeword and not just persevere for fear of upsetting me. YOU have all the power, remember that."
Christian nods and his features shift. He stops frowning and the tension lines around his eyes relax. "It's been a pretty intense few days," he breathes. His eyes suddenly light up. "I think I need a distraction." He smirks.
I inhale sharply. "You wanna...PLAY..?" I ask in astonishment. Have we really put some of his demons to rest?
His smirk becomes a beam. "Yes please...Ma'am..."

**********

I breathlessly fling open Linc's wardrobe and rifle through his tie rack. I didn't want to leave Christian for longer than necessary by going to the boudoir, so dashed into Linc's bedroom to look for items I could improvise with. I need something to bind his wrists and a belt is too harsh. After his harrowing confessions earlier, I need to go easy on him. Hence the tie.
But which one? Does it really matter?
The sun suddenly breaks through the clouds, dappling the bedroom with sunlight and that's when I see it. I'm momentarily transported back in time to the car journey where I picked Linc up from the airport, after I'd first discovered he'd been cheating. He'd been wearing this silver-grey tie, and as I'd packed his suitcase, I knew he must have bought it whilst he'd been away - or more likely, it had been a luxurious thank you gift from that bitch he'd been fucking.
Well, time to put it to good use...
I remove it from the rack and close the wardrobe doors. Heading into the en-suite I open the medicine cabinet and grab the baby oil. A massage will really help Christian relax after having to relive all the trauma from his childhood. Shame I haven't got my wand to hand, a little vibration always helps release tension.
Oh...Hang on...
Grinning wickedly, I grab Roger's new state of the art toothbrush. He was only waxing lyrical about it yesterday - how the vibrations from hundreds of oscillations, gave him an 'amazing oral sensation.'
Well, lets put it to the test on Christian shall we?
Only it won't be going anywhere near his mouth...

I think we ALL know where it ended up, don't we lovely readers?! Thank you all for all your views. Please don't forget to like each chapter and leave a comment. I love reading what you all think 💋💋