Insanity [Patrick Stump Fanfiction]

XI

[Patrick's POV]

I have to stay strong for her. For Jordan. To be completely honest, I'm more terrified than a rabbit in a lion enclosure at the zoo. Jordan's brave, though. I have to be brave too. I have to get her out of here. Me? I've gotten used to the place. I can stay if necessary. If I have to, I'll be a diversion. I'd do anything to get her out. She's the only one in here that's been nice to me.

Harley, a long-time patient here, has always been a 'friend' of mine. We were always friends by default. She didn't have friends, I didn't have friends, it all worked out. When she needed a partner for game time, I was there playing games with her. Harley is absolutely crazy, though. She's a risk taker, unlike me, and she is one hundred percent devoted to her lover. Love drives crazy.

Five hours until the movie starts. Jordan and I sat across from each other playing Sorry. Jordan was winning. I've never been good at board games, but card games are a whole other story.

I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and stared up at the brown-haired man. The brown-haired man that takes me to the basement.

"Here we go, Patrick. Don't make this hard on yourself," he murmured as he jerked my hand. I followed him willingly only because I just wanted it to be over soon.

He dragged me down a flight of stairs and through a dim hallway. I didn't fight it or scream. If all goes well tonight, this would me my last therapy session. Ever.

The brown-haired man strapped my arms and legs to the table and strapped the band around my head. I closed my eyes.

"So Mark here tells me you were cooperative?" Maria raised a confused eyebrow. "Why? What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," I said simply. "I've just decided not to waste my energy on you anymore." It technically wasn't a lie.

"I'm glad you've decided to be smart here," Maria said. She flipped a lever and the machine roared to life. Maria began to hook up wires to the headband. I didn't see anything after that because I squeezed my eyes shut. As a kid you learn that it helps ease the pain a little. It really doesn't but it helps me feel a little better.

Maria yelled, "clear!"

1,500 volts of electricity shot through me all at once. My muscles tensed up to the point where I thought they would tear from all the stress. I screamed out in pain. I arched my back to try to soothe the ache.

Maria shut the machine off. Taking each breath was a battle of its own. My chest felt like it was both on fire and like it was compressed by a 50 pound weight. I wanted Jordan to come and find me so we could pack up and leave right now.

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2 hours until the great escape. I felt dizzy and weak as I stumbled upstairs to meet Jordan by the window. The movie starts in an hour but we were going to wait until the middle of it.

Sometimes, my muscles spasmed and I would trip over nothing. I'd fall flat on my face then roll to my back and stare up at the ceiling while the world spun around me. It would make me even dizzier than I already am.

It was hard to control my emotions as well as my actions. That's why I'm in here. They always claim I have Dissociative Identity Disorder but really it's just Maria messing with my head.

Jordan welcomed me with a sympathetic smile. I hate sympathy. I also hate pity. I hate it when people feel bad for me when they have no idea what I'm going through. Jordan needs to learn not to pity me.

I gripped her arm roughly and tugged her closer to me. There was fear in Jordan's wide eyes. I didn't want her to be scared of me, I wanted her to understand me. I squeezed her bicep and she whimpered. Jordan grabbed my wrist to try to detach my grip.